


Spin

by TravelingCupcake



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bookstore Owner Castiel, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Charlie Bradbury Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dance partners, Dean/Cas Big Bang 2020 (Supernatural), Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Insecure Dean and Cas, Light Angst, M/M, Mechanic Dean Winchester, Past Relationship(s), Past physical trauma, References to Dirty Dancing (1987), Sam and Gabriel are good brothers, Semi-Public Sex, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, pole dance au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:33:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 38,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27615596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TravelingCupcake/pseuds/TravelingCupcake
Summary: Spending the evening at a pole dance studio with his sister wasn’t exactly Castiel’s idea of a fun night. But one look at the studio’s most talented and most charming student had him ready and willing to step far outside of his comfort zone. Determined to help Dean accomplish the seemingly impossible, Castiel offers up an absolutely crazy idea. But aren’t those the best kind?
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dorothy Baum/Charlie Bradbury, Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester
Comments: 44
Kudos: 207
Collections: DCBB 2020, Multi-Chapters, The Destiel Fan Survey Favs Collection





	1. Dazed and Confused

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first year participating in the DCBB. Thank you so much to the mods for all their hard work and support. 
> 
> Thank you to my lovely artist SissyRay84 for all the amazing artwork and being such a pleasure to work with. I adore everything you've done for this story. Please go visit @thestarkeeper21 on Twitter to see all the artwork for this fic.
> 
> Thank you to my beta, Sofia. Your help has been pure gold.
> 
> Thank you to my writing support system, Jeannine and September for your encouragement and support.
> 
> As you'll notice, each chapter is named after a song title, usually reflecting what the boys are dancing to. To avoid any spoilers, I've attached the link to the playlist at the end of the last chapter. 
> 
> This fic has been a long time in the making. I hope you enjoy it ❤️

> 🎵 _Been dazed and confused for so long it’s not true_
> 
> _Wanted a woman, never bargained for you_

“I still don't understand why you are insisting I go with you to this thing. It seems more like a “girls night out” kind of activity with all of your friends. Kinda weird to take your brother to a pole dance studio.”

Castiel watched through his passenger side window as Anna’s car navigated through the trendy East side of Austin, knowing too well that he wasn't cool enough for this neighborhood. It was a nice clear night to be out anyway; the air cold and fresh, but not too chilly. Despite only being one week into the new year, he hoped it meant a mild winter.

“First of all, Cassie, please stop with the air quotes. I’ve told you, for what seems like a million times, it's unnecessary. Not to mention weird,” Anna spat. “Second, I asked you to come with me because you need a night out. You're at that bookstore all day with no one to talk to except Gabriel. After you're done you go home, eat dinner alone, and read until you fall asleep. It’s about time you change it up a little.” “Also,” she added after a beat, “that was a very sexist remark about the pole studio being a girl’s night out activity. So, please, for just one night, relax a bit and have fun.”

“No one else was available to go with you tonight were they?” Castiel asked knowingly.

After a few seconds of silence and a side-eye directed towards her brother, Anna admitted, “No... but my point still stands. It will be fun, I promise. Pole studios are a really popular fitness alternative to gyms nowadays and my supervisor loved my idea about doing a feature for the Chronicle,” she concluded as the car came to a stop at a red light. She looked over at Castiel with that same pleading look she had perfected years ago when they were children, knowing it worked on Cas every time she wanted something.

“Uh-huh,” Castiel said, rolling his eyes and turning his head back toward the window.

Anna worked as a journalist for The Chronicle, a weekly print magazine that covered events, politics, and trends around Austin. Castiel was proud of his sister, even if he wasn’t proud of her ability to talk him into things he didn’t want to do.

A few minutes later, they pulled up to the studio, which was part of an older brick building, nestled in between a vintage clothing store and a funky looking coffee shop called The Last Drop. Studying the windows of the coffee shop, he spotted signs boasting they were open until midnight. At least he had a place to escape to if necessary. Too bad he didn’t think to sneak his book into the pocket of his coat.

Upon entering the studio, they found themselves in a small, empty reception area, complete with a desk holding a few different computer screens, a cordless phone, and what looked to be a logbook. There were a few worn wooden chairs lining the wall along the front. The walls held several bulletin boards that were covered in flyers advertising small businesses and local bands, as well as calendars showing upcoming class schedules for the studio. The lighting was low and warm and there was music coming from somewhere deeper in the building. A fuchsia curtain hung in the doorway beside the desk, obscuring the rest of the studio.

After a few seconds, that curtain was pulled open with a flourish by a petite but energetic redhead in a Star Wars T-shirt, jeans and red Converse.

“I thought I heard the door open,” she said to herself, walking over behind the desk. “Welcome to Showcase Night, guys! Are you friends or family of one of our performers tonight?,” she asked, looking between them expectantly.

“Um, not exactly. I’m Anna Novak,” she said gesturing to herself while offering her hand. “I work for the Chronicle. I think you and I talked on the phone last week about me coming in to watch the show and get some info for the piece I’m working on.”

“Oh! Yes, that was me! Oh, wow, okay, hi! I’m Charlie. I man the desk and manage everyone's schedules here,” she explained and looked over at Castiel with a smile. “And who’s this handsome fella?”

“Oh, this is my brother, Castiel. I hope it's okay that I brought someone else,” Anna said worriedly.

“Oh yeah, the more the merrier! Helps the students gain confidence. We’ve got dancers from all different skill levels doing something tonight,” Charlie said enthusiastically. “Go on back, grab a glass of wine, and find a spot on the floor along the brick wall with the rest of the guests. The show should be starting in about ten minutes.”

“Cool, thanks,” Anna said, turning and disappearing behind the fuchsia curtain.

Before Castiel could follow her, Charlie stopped him.

“You look really familiar. Where have I seen you?”

“Um,” he stuttered. “I-I’m not sure. I do own a bookstore on south Lamar. Angel’s Books? I don’t really go anywhere else, so that kind of has to be it,” he offered with a quiet self-deprecating laugh.

“Oh my god, you own Angel’s Books? I love that place! You’ve got a great YA section, and that guy running the cafe who thinks he’s really funny makes one hell of a honey latte,” she said with a smile.

“Yep, that’s my place. My brother Gabriel is the coffee and pastry guy. I’m just the quiet, unassuming bookworm. All I ever do is read, so the idea of owning a bookstore just made sense to me. That’s why Anna made me come with her tonight. Apparently, re-reading Harry Potter wasn't exciting to her. To be honest, this isn’t really my thing,” he said apologetically, hoping he hadn't just lost a frequent customer. He also wondered why the hell he just explained all of that to her.

“Oh, I totally get you,” Charlie said, shaking her head in agreement. “Back there isn’t my scene either. That’s why I just manage the books and schedules. Pamela is the owner of the place. You’ll see her back there. So, which book are you on?”

Caught off guard by the sudden subject change, Castiel stammered, “Oh! Uhm, Goblet of Fire. I just got past the dance.”

“Ugh, I love that part! The pining, the angst, the teenage drama! So good!” Charlie paused to put her hands on Castiel’s shoulders. “Dude. Did we just become best friends?”

Castiel laughed, “I guess we did. Sure,” he huffed in amusement. This chick was quirky.

“Sweet! Just fair warning, Dean is my other BFF, so you guys will have to share,” Charlie said with a smirk.

“That sounds fair,” Castiel said as he backed away toward the curtain. “Just remember though,” he said with a teasing smile. “I have the book discount.”

✵✵✵✵

A few minutes later Castiel found himself sitting on the aged hardwood floor with his back against an exposed brick wall. The room was on the narrow side but felt bigger due to a mirror running the entire length of the wall opposite him. Heavy fabric draped along the other two walls in shades of dark red, likely to aid in the acoustics of the open space. A plain door interrupted one of those walls, adorned with a simple sign requesting “Privacy Please”. The lights were dim and candlelight danced in the mirror, showing off the small table covered in wine bottles and snacks a few feet down from where Castiel sat. Incense was burning somewhere, a warm, woodsy scent filling the room, but not overpowering it. And of course, there were the poles. Eight shiny poles, evenly spaced, rising up from the floor all the way to the ceiling. Castiel had to admit, the room's atmosphere was warm. Inviting. Luxurious.

Next to him, his sister was lost in conversation with another woman about the newest restaurant opening downtown. Anna always knew about the newest and greatest and trendiest things about Austin and how to strike up conversation with anything that moved. It was her job to do so, and she was good at it. Castiel, unfortunately, was not, so he just sat and let his eyes wander.

Looking around, he had to admit that Anna was right. It wasn’t just a girl’s night out event. There were a few other men here tonight. Most of them were scattered along the wall, having quiet conversations with those around them. Castiel couldn’t help but notice two men standing near the “privacy” door talking with a barefoot woman with wild jet black hair, black yoga pants, and what was at some point an intact vintage ACDC t-shirt. Now it was sleeveless, low-cut, and cropped. One of the two men towered over his companions. He was dressed in normal street clothes and sipped red wine, occasionally bringing a hand up to bring a strand of his long hair back behind his ears.

The other man, Castiel noticed, was barefoot, and in a simple white t-shirt and jeans. Although the room was dim, it was clear that he had a strong jawline and broad shoulders that led to narrow hips and slightly bowed legs. He had shorter, dirty blonde hair and full lips. But what caught Castiel’s attention the most was his laugh. Whatever had been said caused his entire body to respond, sending his torso backward; his head was thrown back, eyes closed and ending with the most beautiful smile Castiel had ever seen.

The spell was broken when a hand waved emphatically in front of his face.

“Cassie! Earth to Castiel?”

“Hmm? What? Sorry, were you saying something?” Castiel looked to his left where Anna sat looking at him with wide, concerned eyes.

“I called your name like three times. You okay?”

“Yeah, sorry. I’m good, just daydreaming I guess. What’s up,” Castiel asked, glancing back toward the privacy door, only to find the previously occupied space empty.

“I was saying that the girl I was just talking to is Jess. She is here with her husband Sam to watch her brother in law perform tonight. All three of them are friends with Pam, the studio owner, and Jess thinks Pam would be cool with us staying for a while after the show so I can ask her a few questions. Would you be okay waiting for a bit so I could talk to her? I promise it won’t take very long.” Anna looked at him with puppy dog eyes. Like he wasn’t going to say yes anyway.

“Anna, of course we can stay for a while. Take all the time you need. If I get really bored, I can just head next door for a cup of coffee and wait for you there,” Castiel offered.

“Perfect! Thanks, Cassie!” Anna started rifling through her purse, likely looking for her notebook and a pen to prepare for her impromptu interview.

Castiel was distracted when he looked past Anna to see the very tall man from before attempting to fold himself into a sitting position on the floor. He wrapped his arm around the pretty girl Anna was just conversing with. His mind started connecting the dots after a few seconds. Was her brother in law the man with the beautiful smile? _Interesting._ All of a sudden, staying a little later didn’t seem so bad.

By the time he looked again, there were several women, all coming out through the privacy door. Castiel stopped counting after a dozen, watching as they all proceeded to sit along that shorter wall. They were all similarly dressed. Or undressed as it were. They all wore very small black hip-hugger shorts and black sports bras or fitted tank tops. Some were wearing very tall, platform high heels and some were barefoot. A few of them excitedly smiled and waved at friends or family. Some looked quite nervous and jittery, glancing around the space and taking in deep breaths in an attempt to calm themselves. Quite quickly, Castiel’s eyes landed on the beautiful man, who sat on the floor with his back against the wall, and his legs extended out in front of him. He seemed quite unfazed by his surroundings as he typed away on the phone in his hands. Of course, he chose that moment to look up, making direct eye contact with Castiel.

Not wanting to be caught staring, Castiel reacted quickly, looking down at the empty wine glass in his hands. He took a deep breath and settled himself. Chancing another glance, he was relieved the man had returned his attention to his phone, but Castiel noticed, there was now a hint of a smile on his unfairly attractive face. Resolving himself to quit gawking like a creep, Castiel set his glass on the floor, and nearly knocked it over, startled by the presence of the front desk redhead quietly sitting next to him, scrolling through her phone.

“Oh my god! How long have you been sitting here,” he asked laughingly, pleased to see his new friend again so soon.

“A few minutes, actually,” Charlie replied, not looking up from her phone. “It’s okay. You seemed…distracted,” she added with a smirk. “Is it cool if I sit with you for the show? It's just about to start.”

“Well, yeah, of course, I don’t mind,” Castiel answered graciously.

“Cool,” Charlie said as she put her phone in her pocket and looked up. “You were zoning out pretty hard there with Pam and the guys a minute ago.” Charlie turned her head towards him and lowered her voice. “Just a heads up though, Pam is super hot, but she doesn’t really do the whole dating thing. She’s basically married to this place anyway.”

“Oh. No, that’s…that's okay. I mean Pam is beautiful. But, um. She’s not exactly my type, if you get what I mean,” Castiel whispered.

Charlie stared at him for a moment, a smile slowly spreading across her face, as if she’d just learned some valuable information.

“I see. Well. Good to know,” she said cryptically.

Before their conversation could continue, their attention was directed to the clinking of a glass and then at Pam, who now stood in the middle of the room, waiting for the room to quiet down.

“Hello, friends and welcome to Showcase Night here at Lazarus Pole Studio!”

This was met with enthusiastic cheers from the small audience. Pam waited for a beat and then continued.

“It's so great to see so many friends here tonight to support our student dancers. Everyone has been working their asses off to get ready for tonight, so please, show them plenty of love. Our student showcase will start with our beginner level one class and continue on with our more advanced classes. As always, the showcase marks the end of an eight-week class series, allowing our students the opportunity to show off their new skills before they move forward on to the next level if they choose. Which means that a new level one class will be starting next week. So, if any of you like what you see tonight and want to give it a go, please see Charlie later tonight with any questions and to grab yourself a spot in class. But, first, please give a round of applause and welcome our Level One class.”

The audience cheered and clapped as Pam walked off to the side toward her students. Castiel watched as six women, all different ages and sizes, took their places at each pole. A moment later, the lights were dimmed a bit more, and a heavy beat filled the room.

✵✵✵✵

Four group routines later, Castiel had to admit the whole thing was pretty cool. There was a lot of work and physical demand that went into this kind of activity, which obviously increased with the higher-level classes. It was definitely sexy, and somehow, even with the stripper heels, classy...graceful. Each routine was split between different tricks and spins on the pole as well as floor work. The one thought that stayed in Castiel’s mind was that it looked...fun.

“Well? What do you think so far,” Charlie whispered, leaning towards him as the dancers made their way back to the wall.

“Um…,’ Castiel paused, thinking of an appropriate answer. “It’s kind of awesome, honestly” he said with a grin, still staring ahead at the rows of shiny poles.

“Just wait. The next few should be even better. Dean and Lisa are next. They’re getting ready for their first competition in a few months.”

“There’s a competition for pole dancing?”

“Hmmm? Oh, yeah,” she continued. “All the way from regionals to international levels even. Obviously most people just do pole for fun, or as a cool workout. But for those who compete, it’s a big deal. Plus, there’s a pretty nice check waiting for the first place winner at nationals.”

Somewhere in Castiel’s brain, he knew he should still be paying attention to Charlie. He felt rude for losing focus on their conversation. On the other hand, who could blame him? The small audience was cheering on and clapping for The Man With the Beautiful Smile...Dean...who walked to the center of the dance area, followed by a beautiful woman with long dark hair and olive skin. She wore a strappy red sports top, tiny black hip-huggers, and tall red platform heels. Without a doubt, she was stunning. But that wasn’t what held Castiel’s eye. Dean had removed his plain white t-shirt, leaving only well-worn jeans that were frayed at the hem and hung perfectly over his hips. His chest and back appeared well-toned but he retained a bit of softness in his belly.

There were a few friendly whistles and catcalls coming from the couple he now knew were Dean’s family. Dean shook his head as he waited for the music to start, keeping his eyes cast downward, but smiling almost shyly at the attention.

Castiel recognized the song. He was pretty confident it was a part of the Fifty Shades soundtrack ( _yes, he’d seen it...Gabriel insisted_ ). Dean and Lisa’s movements told a story as they orbited around each other on the floor and then as they spun together on a shared pole. It was clear that Lisa was meant to be the main focus, with Dean helping to show off his partner. Their training was apparent; they worked together beautifully.

When the song came to an end, the crowd whooped and cheered. Dean and Lisa gave an appreciative little bow together. As Lisa started walking off, Dean’s eyes searched the crowd before landing on Castiel. Dean’s mouth barely hinted at a smile as he held his gaze and absentmindedly ( _on purpose?_ ) ran his tongue over his bottom lip. It was probably only a few seconds, but it felt like time came to a halt. Castiel was afraid to move. He was sure if he did, Dean would disappear and the spell would be broken.

All too soon, Dean looked away and walked off toward the wall of dancers. Castiel turned to his sister, all but forgotten until now.

“It’s pretty cool,” he commented, trying to sound casual.

“Right?! See, I told you it would be fun! I’m so glad you came with me Cassie,” she said sweetly.

Castiel rolled his eyes and smiled at his sister. “Yes, you were right. Next time you offer to bring me along for an article you’re working on, maybe I won’t be so…,” Castiel as interrupted by another round of cheers, this time even louder and more spirited. When he found the cause, his brain short-circuited. Dean was walking back toward the poles. The difference being...he had removed his jeans. He was down to nothing but a really small pair of black shorts that only covered the bare necessities and hugged his little bubble butt amazingly well.

Castiel suddenly felt like a ridiculous cartoon version of himself. It was an internal battle to keep his eyes from bugging out in the shapes of hearts and if he wasn’t careful, his tongue would actually unroll from his mouth and hit the floor. Next to him, he heard Charlie giggle quietly and when he forced himself to turn his gaze away from Dean, she was looking at him. She tilted her head and raised an accusatory eyebrow. Perhaps his poker face needed some work.

“You should probably close your mouth before you actually start drooling,” she teased.

“I...just...wasn’t expecting to see all of...that,” he whispered, waving his hands in Dean’s general direction.

Offering an eye roll and a sympathetic smile, Charlie continued quietly. “Well, since it’s pole, that right there is pretty standard for dudes. Dean doesn’t typically wear the jeans from before, but Lisa had that whole Fifty Shades theme idea going on. Which isn’t really Dean’s style, if I’m being honest,” she added.

Castiel let that sink in before, once again, letting himself be pulled in by Dean’s enchantment.

Dean leaned back against a pole, closed his eyes, and parted his full lips. He slowly rolled his head from side to side and took in a breath. The music opened with a man singing about being dazed and confused and flowed into a raw, unearthly, almost psychedelic melody. Dean pivoted where he stood, pushed off the ground, and grabbed the pole. In what looked like an effortless move, he pulled himself up into a neverending spin, hugging the pole with his thighs, releasing his hands, and slowly contorting his upper body backward. He reached up again and began climbing the pole. Every muscle in his body engaged when he brought his legs up over his head, wrapped one around the pole, and extended the other straight out in a half split. From there he moved seamlessly from one move to another, using his body to gain momentum in his spins as the song transitioned into a chaotic mix of guitar riffs and haunting wails.

One thing was clear. Charlie had been correct in her assessment. The routine he had seen with Lisa was an act. Brilliant, yes. But, this wasn't any flashy performance; Dean was in his own little world. And Castiel felt like a voyeur, catching a glimpse of something private.

He had never seen anything like it before. Like him.

The light.

The shadows.

Playing over every line of his body as he moved.

The grace of his movements as he flowed through his routine was only coupled by the sheer power of his body, as every muscle flexed when he gripped the pole to keep him in the air.

It was like watching cold, clear water flow over rocks for a thousand years until they're worn smooth. A millennium of time and energy.

Dean was the result.

Dean was a tidal wave and Castiel was drowning in it.

✵✵✵✵

Half an hour later, Castiel stood near the exit, waiting for Anna to finish up her conversation with Pamela. Most of the crowd left soon after Dean’s solo and Pamela’s closing comments of thanks and a reminder to check in with Charlie on the upcoming class schedule. Charlie herself was at the front desk, signing up a few people. Castiel had to admit, the showcase night was good for bringing in new students. There was a tiny space in the back of his mind that wondered if one of those new students should be him. It had been a long time since he started a new hobby of his own choosing. Studying aikido with his brothers had been his father's insistence since they were children and Castiel had long ago grown bored of it.

He was brought back to the present, and possibly given a small heart attack when a husky voice approached him from behind.

“What’d you think of the show?”

Castiel’s not sure how long he actually stood there, getting his first look at Dean from only a few feet away. Now that the main overhead lights were on in the building, he could see details that were previously hidden in the dimness. Specifically, mossy green eyes and a galaxy of freckles sprinkled across Dean’s nose and along his cheekbones. His mouth pulled up on one side in a charming grin that showed off full pouty lips. Luckily for Castiel’s sanity, he was dressed again, back in the low slung ratty jeans and a white t-shirt. He was still delectable, but at least he wasn’t nearly naked. A few seconds (or hours, he really couldn’t be sure) later, his brain kindly reminded him that he had been asked a question.

“Ummm,” he answered elegantly.

Castiel was actually briefly grateful when Dean interrupted and rambled on. “I met your sister over there talking to Pam. She said she’s writing an article for the studio. That’s pretty awesome, Pam deserves to show this place off a little.” Dean paused for a moment, never breaking eye contact, but looking a bit lost at the same time, as if he was trying to get his thoughts in order. “I’m Dean,’ he said a bit softer after taking a breath, his smile dropping a bit but not completely.

“Castiel.”

“Castiel,” Dean repeated slowly, testing each syllable like he was swirling the word around in his mouth to get a taste for it. It made Castiel shiver. “Pretty unique name. How did you get that one but your sister’s just Anna?” Dean asked with a raised brow.

“Anna is short for Anael. We were all named for angels,” Castiel replied, pausing for a moment before explaining. “Our parents were very religious.”

“Yeah! Sounds like it. How many angels are we talking about here?”

“Five. There’s Anna and me, and our brothers, Gabriel, Michael, and of course, Lucifer. He really got the short straw on that one,” Castiel said with a straight face.

Dean’s face lit up and he threw his head backward as he burst out laughing.

_Oh._

He made Dean laugh. Castiel could feel his brain filing this memory away as one of the proudest moments of his life. He briefly wondered how quickly he could pull his phone out to record it. In slow motion. He studied Dean with wide eyes before he started giggling as well; Dean’s laugh was contagious.

“I’m sorry, dude. I don't mean to laugh. Really. That had to be hard growing up with a name like Lucifer,” Dean offered once he calmed down a bit.

“Yeah. Probably explains why he’s such an asshole now,” Castiel added.

Dean giggled again, softer, but no less beautiful. Castiel had never considered himself to be a funny person.

There was a lull in the conversation. But it wasn’t awkward. With the way their eyes traveled, stopping to memorize the shape of Dean’s bottom lip, or the dip of Castiel’s clavicle where it peaked out from under his button-up, it seemed like words were being spoken without having to say them out loud.

That is until they were interrupted.

“What’s up bitches?” Charlie said, popping up beside them, giving each of them a shit-eating grin.

“Uh, I was just asking Castiel here if he liked the show,” Dean said.

“Oh. Great. Yeah, Castiel. What did you think of the show?” Charlie asked, tilting her head slightly and bouncing her eyebrows.

“Ummm,” he stammered again. “It was pretty cool. Not quite what I expected,” Castiel said, trying to sound casual.

“Just pretty cool? Dude, you looked kinda hypnotized for a bit there. I’d hate to see your face when you really like something then,” Charlie said suggestively, tilting her head even more towards Dean’s direction.

Before he could answer, Charlie turned toward Dean and changed the subject.

“Dean, I’m sorry to inform you that Castiel here is going to be my other BFF from now on. He owns the bookstore over on Lamar and has promised me a BFF discount,” she said with pride.

Castiel looked at her confused. “Did I, though?”

“You did,” she said sweetly, not missing a beat.

He couldn’t help but chuckle, when they were approached by Anna, followed by Pamela.

“Cassie! Guess what? I’m going to sign up for the beginner’s class!” Anna bounced up and down excitedly.

“Oh! Well...great! I think that sounds like a fun idea!” Castiel tried to sound sincere. He knew his sister. She would go to two classes. Maybe three, before losing interest.

“Yeah, I can’t wait! You and the guys have always done your karate thing. Maybe this will be my thing,” Anna said with a hopeful smile. Over the years, Anna had many “things”. There were art classes, cooking workshops, and even a short-lived membership in an ax-throwing league last year. Nothing stuck. Even as a child, she managed to convince their father to let her quit the martial arts training her brothers had to attend.

“You do karate?” Dean asked curiously.

“Oh, well I did as a child. Then when I was about sixteen, I started training in aikido. It’s similar to karate but different techniques in fighting styles,” Castiel answered him. “I haven’t really practiced in about two years though,” Castiel looked down at the floor, hoping no one would make him explain further. He was saved by his sister.

“Anyway, we should get going,” Anna suggested. “I’ve got a staff meeting at 8 tomorrow morning, and I want to organize my notes for the article.”

“Yeah, sure,” Castiel said, casting a glance at Dean, who looked almost...disappointed?

They said their goodbyes and made their way to the door. Anna was halfway to her car and Cas had just stepped out of the building when Dean stopped him.

“Hey, you know, you should think about trying it out too. Just, ya know, if you're looking for a new thing.” Dean smiled before walking back into the studio.

Cas stood on the sidewalk, staring at the closed door, for a full minute before Anna’s car horn jolted him back to his senses.

He was so fucked.


	2. Nothing Else Matters

> _♪So close no matter how far_
> 
> _Couldn’t be much more from the heart_  
>  _Forever trusting who we are_  
>  _And nothing else matters_

Dean swung the impala into the little gravelly parking lot in front of the studio and brought her to a stop. After he turned off the ignition, however, he couldn't bring himself to get out of the car. The cold, damp January weather was a perfect match for his mood. He should have known something else would come along and ruin everything he had worked for. It always did.

As the minutes ticked by, the more he reminded himself what a selfish asshole he was being. Here he was, feeling sorry for himself when Lisa was the one who got hurt.

He was almost out the door this morning, throwing some leftovers in abag and filling his thermos with black coffee when he got a panicked text from Ben asking him to come over and drive his mom to the emergency room. Lisa had slipped in the shower and unable to catch herself correctly, landed hard on the side of the tub.

Working for Bobby meant it wasn’t too hard to call and explain why he wouldn’t make it to the shop today. Bobby always said family came first. Even if they aren’t blood.

The x rays of Lisa’s shoulder clearly showed a fractured clavicle. The ER doctor explained that it would heal on its own; there was no need for surgery. But it would still take months to heal. One thing was sure. Lisa couldn’t compete.

A morning spent in the emergency room, followed by errands to the grocery store and pharmacy, and finally getting Lisa and Ben settled back at home left him exhausted.

He had planned to go home and wallow in his misery alone. It seemed the Impala had different plans and steered him here instead. Pam’s regular class was almost done for the day. Once empty, he could have the floor to himself. If he could just spend an hour on the pole with some loud music, he might feel better. At least, he might have a better shot of sleeping tonight if he was completely exhausted, mentally, and physically.

He had one foot on the pavement when his phone buzzed and looking at it he realized he’d missed a few texts from Charlie.

**From Charlie:**  
_19:20 - How long do you plan to sit there??_

_19:25 - When you do decide to come in, could you please stop next door first and get a triple shot iced vanilla and hazelnut latte for your BFF?????? She would be eternally grateful :) <3 _

At least he could always count on Charlie to put a smile on his face.

✵✵✵✵

Dean stepped out of the dark and into the embracing warmth and light of the little coffee shop. He filled his lungs with sweet-scented air and painted on a smile when Alfie greeted him from behind the counter.

“Heya Dean! How’s it goin’ tonight? What can I get ya?”

Dean had been coming into the Last Drop for the better part of six years and never ordered anything different. Alfie always asked anyway.

“What’s up, Alfie? Can I just get Charlie’s regular latte and a small black coffee for me? Thanks.”

Dean handed over a ten and stuffed the change into the tip jar, then went to stare out of the large front window while Alfie made his drinks. It wasn’t late by any standard, but January meant long nights; it felt like the sun barely made an appearance today. Maybe Mother Nature was sympathetic; she knew better than to offer a beautiful sunny day while he sat in the emergency room with Lisa. Dean could feel himself being pulled down into his misery again when-

“Dean?”

He’d heard that voice before. It took him no time to locate its source in the tiny shop. How had he not noticed him sitting in the corner, tucked away with an old paperback and one of the shop’s large ceramic mugs. He looked even better than he did last week at the showcase. Dark jeans hugged thick thighs, while the sleeves of his white button-up were carelessly rolled up to leave his forearms bare. His dark hair was an absolute mess, likely the result of running large masculine hands through it while he read. Candy pink chapped lips pulled up into a shy smile that caused little crinkles around sparkling blue eyes.

“Angel?” Dean replied, a bit too quickly. _Smooth, Dean. The guy doesn’t need to know he already has a nickname._

“Castiel,” he reminded him, his smile dropping a bit, probably assuming Dean had forgotten. He hadn’t.

“Yeah. Yeah, I remember,” Dean said softly, walking over to stand next to the little table Castiel was occupying. “What are you doing here?” he asked, attempting to hide his sudden nervousness.

“Oh, uh, well my sister is next door at her first class with Pam. Her car wouldn’t start this afternoon when she left work. So, I picked her up and brought her here so she could make it to the class on time. Just figured I’d hang out over here until it’s over,” Castiel explained, gesturing to the coffee mug and forgotten novel in front of him.

“Oh,” Dean said, suddenly switching gears. “Well, that’s awfully nice of you to wait on her. Did she have the car taken anywhere yet?”

“Ah, no, not yet. She was more concerned about getting over here, and since it’s already dark, we figured it could spend the night in the Chronicle parking lot. I’ll drop her off in the morning and we’ll get it towed somewhere. I definitely don’t need to be fiddling around trying to fix that thing,” Cas said with a quiet laugh.

“Well, you are in luck, my friend,” Dean said, already pulling a card out of his wallet. “Take this, call that number in the morning if she still won’t start, and we’ll come get it,” he continued, handing the business card to Castiel. “That’s my shop. Well, technically it’s Bobby Singer’s, hence the Singer Garage, but if you call in the morning and tell Bobby you’re a friend of mine, Anna will get a pretty good deal on whatever needs to be fixed. Or,” Dean swallowed loudly, “that’s my cell number at the bottom if you prefer to just text me instead and I’ll take care of it.”

He knew he was rambling. Dean couldn’t believe he just gave the guy his number. He couldn’t remember the last time he wanted to give anyone his number.

Bobby would probably give him shit tomorrow for offering free work, but he didn’t care. Not when Castiel stared at the card between his fingers before looking back up at Dean with a big gummy smile. _Worth it._

“Dean, that’s... so... generous of you. Thank you, I know Anna will be relieved as well,” Castiel said, carefully tucking the business card in his shirt pocket. He let out a deep breath and sat back in his chair. “What about you? How have you been? Are you heading next door or would you like to sit and join me for a bit?,” he offered, gesturing to the chair in front of him.

Dean stood there, chewing on his bottom lip while he thought about Castiel’s question. Up until five minutes ago, he’d been having a pretty shitty day… but now? He barely knew this dude, and yet he had somehow 180°-ed his mood with just a flash of his baby blues. _Interesting._

“Um, not so good, actually. I just got some pretty bad news today, so things could definitely be better,” Dean said, his prior mood threatening to darken this brief moment of peace.

Castiel’s face filled with concern. “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” he offered, looking down at his open book. “Well, the offer still stands, if you’d like to join me. I’ve been told I’m an excellent listener if you need someone to talk to.”

Dean thought about it. Castiel didn’t even know him. Why would he care to hear about Dean’s problems? He looked back to the counter where his coffee and Charlie’s sugary concoction waited for him. She’d probably bitch about it not being hot anymore. _ _Fuck it,__ he decided. He could use another friend to talk to. Of course, it didn’t hurt that this new friend was cute as fuck.

“You know what,” Dean said, turning back around to look Castiel in the eye. “You’re on. Let me run this over to Charlie and I’ll be back in a minute.” After setting his to go cup on the small table Cas occupied, Dean swiftly carried the now warm latte next door. As expected, Charlie was waiting for him, leaning on the front desk with her head in her hands and a knowing smile on her face.

“I was starting to wonder if Alfie had to go to Brazil for the coffee beans,” she said sarcastically.

“Very funny, Charles. Sorry it took a minute. Actually I just came to drop it off. I think I’m gonna head back over and hang out for a little while. Pam still has a few minutes left ‘til the space is clear anyway,” Dean said, casually checking his watch as he backed out of the studio.

“Sounds good, Dean,” Charlie said on her way to the backroom, likely to reheat her coffee in the microwave. Before she disappeared through the curtain, she stopped and looked at Dean straight in the eye , “Tell Castiel I said hi,” she said and hid her smile behind her cup as Dean flailed in surprise.

“Wha- how? I- he-“ Dean stumbled and then pouted as Charlie just laughed at him. She shooed him towards the door and Dean took the dignity he had left and walked away, cheeks flaming and mumbling under his breath about tricky redhead masterminds.

__✵✵✵✵_ _

Less than a minute later, Dean found himself seated at the little corner table with Castiel.

Castiel just grinned at him. “Okay, Dean. Talk to me.”

So Dean talked.

He told Cas about Lisa’s accident and how, obviously, it left him without a partner. The regional competition was only five months away, and if they advanced to nationals, there was some pretty substantial prize money to be had by the winners.

They were each planning a solo routine, on top of their duo. If they won that, they had agreed to split it evenly. Lisa was a single mom to a kid named Ben. She was planning to add the money to his college savings.

“And you? What was Dean going to do with his winnings?” Cas took a sip from his mug and urged Dean to continue.

Dean pursed his lips and focused on a scratch in the tabletop. There were only a handful of people who knew what his plans were. He didn’t want to add Cas to that list just to be met with pity because, once again, something had come along to fuck up his dreams.

“Does it matter?,” he asked coldly. “Can’t compete this year anyway. Not even worth it to go by myself so there’s no need to go down that road.” Dean steadied himself and looked up at Cas.

“Well, maybe it’s none of my business,” he replied softly, “but I think it does matter. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be so upset about it. I mean, it’s obvious you’ve worked really hard for a reason. How long have you been practicing anyway?”

Dean wiped a hand across his face and bit the inside of his cheek. “Um, about six years now. I was in a really bad car accident before that. And, uh, once I was cleared to start physical therapy, it was actually Charlie’s idea to try pole for strength training instead of going to a regular gym. Pamela worked with me one on one and slowly it evolved. Once I was strong enough, I started playing around with different moves and tricks. And I realized I could use the music I grew up listening to. So I started choreographing routines to Led Zeppelin and AC/DC and Metallica. Just kinda made it mine, ya know? Lisa had just started taking classes about that time too. We just kinda clicked and started working together.” Dean paused, choosing to focus on picking at his nails while he told his sad story. “Then, last year, Pam suggested we try competing. That we were ready. We both needed the money anyway, and it’s good publicity for the studio if we win. Nothing to lose by trying right? So, we went to regionals together in Dallas. Didn’t win obviously, but still did pretty well considering it was our first shot at it. I was really hoping this year would be our time, ya know?”

Dean finally looked up to find Castiel staring back at him. His mouth was parted just slightly and pulled up just a bit to one side. His head tilted a little to the left and his eyes were soft and sympathetic, but not with pity, as Dean had feared.

“Wow. I’m impressed,” Castiel said with certainty. “Really sounds like you’ve come a long way and worked really hard to get here. You should be proud of that. And Lisa seems like a really great partner. Are you two, you know…,” he questioned awkwardly, his voice wavering a little.

“Hmm? Wha-no! No, we aren’t like together together,” Dean interjected, feeling his face flush for more than one reason. “I mean she’s an awesome girl and Ben is really cool for a twelve-year-old. But we’re just friends. She tried to make it something more at first, but there’s no way I could be in a relationship with anyone right now. That’d just be a disaster waiting to happen.”

Dean noticed Cas’s face drop just a bit. His now tight smile no longer reached his eyes. Castiel wrapped his hands around the empty coffee mug. “I’m sorry I assumed,” he said, bowing his head a little. “You two seemed to have great chemistry during your routine, so I just figured that came from somewhere, ya know?” Castiel continued staring at the bottom of his coffee cup while the conversation lulled. Dean took a sip as he looked to his right, inwardly cringing a little at the awkward silence and trying to come up with anything he could use as an excuse to stay here with Cas. After a minute, Castiel’s mouth pulled up in a smirk.

“Are you really not going to tell me the big reason why you need the money? Because I’m pretty sure I won’t sleep tonight not knowing. I’ll just lay there coming up with one ridiculous theory after another. You don’t really want to torture me like that do you?”

Cas looked up at him at that moment with those big blue eyes and a soft pout.

_Damn it._

How had he already mastered the sad puppy look that Dean could never resist? Up until now, it only ever worked when Sam or, on occasion, Charlie did it.

Dean pressed his lips together in a quick tight smile, looking down again. “Trust me, it’s really not anything impressive.”

Upon hearing that, Castiel leaned forward on his elbows, pursed his lips and arched his right eyebrow. “Let me be the judge of that,” he urged gently.

Dean swiped his tongue along his bottom lip and took a deep breath as he studied Castiel for any signs of insincerity and found none. He forced himself to lean back in his chair, feeling a need to put some space between them, lest he forget himself and accidentally kiss those dry pink lips that were getting more and more tempting every time Castiel licked them. _Almost_ tempting enough to override his self imposed no-dating rule.

They appeared to be playing a game of chicken, neither refusing to look away, both daring each other to back down. Either Cas would give up on trying to get Dean’s life story or Dean would start talking.

Cas tilted his head and smiled something sweet but a little devious, and spoke first.

“Just so you know, I’m the youngest of five kids, so I can do this all day.”

Something in the back of Dean’s mind whispered that sitting here staring at Cas all night wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing. But the guy did offer to listen to his problems. He took a deep breath and let out an obnoxiously loud sigh.

“Okay, you win.”

“I usually do,” Cas said with a flirtatious grin.

“Okay, well, when Sammy and I first moved down to Austin, Bobby gave me a job immediately at the shop. I don’t even think he needed the help but he insisted. Because of that I was able to support myself and Sam while he was at school.”

Cas’ dark eyebrows drew close at that.

“Your parents didn’t help at all? How long have you been supporting him?”

“Pretty much our whole lives really,” Dean answered with a lopsided sad grin. “Our mom died when we were kids. Hell, Sammy was still a baby. And Dad didn’t handle it well. To be honest, he didn’t really handle it at all. He started drinking a lot. And he’d disappear for days at a time, and come home a complete mess. So, I kinda had to take care of them both from that point.”

“Wow, Dean, I’m so sorry. That’s more than any child should have to deal with,” Cas said.

“Thanks. Anyway, uh, when Sammy graduated high school, he ended up with a full ride to the University of Texas down here. He was always the brains of the family, so I wasn’t surprised. He had planned to come down here by himself. But one night, Dad and I got into a huge fight when I told him I was bisexual. He said a lot of not very nice things. That 'no son of mine would live like that' kinda bullshit.” He paused and looked up briefly at Castiel only to be met with the sad version of Puppy Eyes. He cleared his throat, “Sorry, that got kinda heavy for a second,” Dean said looking away with an awkward chuckle. His eyes snapped up as Castiel leaned forward and touched Dean's hand, sending tingles up and down his arm and creating what appeared to be a butterfly rave in his stomach.

“That’s okay. I know what it’s like to have parents who don’t support you,” Cas said with a sad smile, slowly sliding his hand off Dean's and returning it to his own side of the table.

They shared a look for a moment before Dean looked down and focused on his coffee cup while he continued talking.

“So, after that, Sammy suggested I come down here with him. It’s always just been the two of us anyway really. So, Sammy went to school and I went to work.”

Castiel simply sat there with his head supported by his hands giving him all of his attention.

“But, then, of course, life got in the way, as it usually does. Things went well for a while, long enough to lure us into a false sense of security,” Dean said bitterly. “That’s when the accident happened,” Dean said, his eyes darting around as if he could see the scene replay itself there on the table surface. “I ended up in a coma for a few weeks. They knew I’d injured my spine, but couldn’t be sure how badly until I actually woke up. Luckily, nothing was permanent, but I still needed months of rehab. Like I said, that’s when Charlie suggested I start coming here. But everything else kinda got put on pause. Pretty much all my savings went to medical bills. Sammy had a job by then at a law firm, and he helped pay the bills. Bobby helped as much as he could. He’s been there for us for a long time. Anyway, now that I’m back up and running, I want to give back as much as he’s given me. He’s been running that garage for decades. Don’t even know the last time that old man took a vacation. If Lisa and I won, I was gonna use my half, plus what I’ve been saving up for the last six years, to buy the shop from him so that he can finally retire. I’d move up as owner and make sure that place keeps running the way it always has. But, I guess another year won't hurt anyone right?”

Castiel’s soft smile reached his eyes, looking at Dean like he was something special. It made him squirm under that kind of spotlight.

“I can’t even imagine how much strength it takes to come back from something like that. It’s...I don’t know...inspirational,” Cas said.

Dean felt himself flush from the praise. He ducked his head down and wiped his hands over his face in embarrassment. “I don’t know if I’d call it that.”

“I would,” Cas argued. “You should be proud of yourself.”

Dean’s breath caught in his chest, his eyes wide as he took in Castiel’s face, warm, open, and without judgment.

He barely noticed the little bell above the door as it opened and brought in a chill. But a moment later, they were greeted by Anna as she bounced in with a smile and landed at their table, in sweats and clutching a canvas tote bag.

“Cassie! Oh my god, that was the funnest class ever! Pam is such a cool teacher, and I even landed a couple of tricks already! Good workout too. I know I’ll be sore tomorrow, but it’s so worth it. You ready to go? Remember we have to go get my car in the morning.”

Dean couldn’t help his disappointment in having to say goodbye. Of course, he didn’t dislike Anna. She seemed to be a perfectly nice girl. It’s just that she kept showing up and taking Cas away from him.

Cas rolled his eyes at Dean before reluctantly looked up at his sister.

“Yes, I remember Anna. Actually Dean here gave me his card for the shop he works at and suggested we get the car towed there tomorrow,” he said, gesturing towards Dean.

“Oh really? Oh my god, that’s great, thank you so much. What a relief,” Anna said with a smile.

“Happy to help. And I’m glad you had a good class. I’ll give your review to Pam; I’m sure she’ll like to hear it.”

Castiel gave him one last warm smile, before it disappeared, his eyes turned down.

“Well. I guess we should go,” he said quietly, standing up from their little table in the corner.

Dean rose from his seat to walk them out, wanting to prolong his time with Castiel as much as he could.

“Hey, Cas...um. Thanks. Just, for...you know. For listening, I guess. Thanks,” Dean said.

Castiel opened the driver’s side door, but turned toward Dean, beaming back at him.

“You’re welcome. Anytime. And Dean? I hope you get everything you want. You sure as hell deserve it.”

“Thanks,” Dean said, smiling back at him. “And don’t forget to call the shop tomorrow about Anna’s car. Or if you have any questions about it, just text me,” Dean continued, surprised by his own eagerness to hear from Cas again. It had been quite a long time since he had an actual crush on anyone but he could still remember what it felt like.s.

“Thanks. I will,” Castiel answered, giving a shy wave goodbye before getting in his car and starting up the engine.

Dean watched them pull out of the little parking lot, turned on his heels and headed for the studio next door, his head and his heart feeling just a little lighter. An hour on the pole would make him feel even better. It felt like a Metallica night.

> _♪Trust I seek and I find in you_  
>  _Every day for us something new_  
>  _Open mind for a different view_  
>  _And nothing else matters_


	3. Houses of the Holy

> _♪ There’s an angel on my shoulder_
> 
> _In my hand a sword of gold_
> 
> _Let me wander in your garden_
> 
> _And the seeds of love I sow, you know_

Angel’s Books was set in a little shopping center on South Lamar next to a tattoo shop. It carried all the current best selling paperbacks, as well as a plethora of used and well-worn books. There were aisles of poetry, historical nonfiction, travel and photography, an extensive young adult section, and even textbooks that could be bought and sold for a fair price, which the local college crowd appreciated. The register was perched atop an antique wooden desk that Castiel found at an estate sale and immediately fell in love with. The back of the shop was redesigned to accommodate an espresso machine, small pastry case, and several plush armchairs, as requested by Castiel’s older brother Gabriel. It was his only stipulation when he agreed to invest and help run the shop. The smell of old books and ink mixed well with fresh coffee and almond croissants to give the store a warm, familiar homey feeling. Castiel walked into his bookstore every morning with a deep inhale and a silent prayer of thanks (to whoever may be listening) for giving him this little piece of Heaven. 

Today was no exception. Castiel said his normal hello's and good mornings to Kevin, a college student who worked part-time manning the register and helping with inventory when he wasn’t in class. As per usual, he went straight back to the cafe, where his brother always had his favorite double shot latte, sweetened and flavored with vanilla and cinnamon ready for him. 

To anyone else, Castiel would have appeared no different than on any other day.. But no one else was as nosey and attuned to Castiel's moods as Gabriel. 

Gabriel took one look at him and -holding his coffee hostage- narrowed his eyes. "Spill. What’s got you buzzing in here like a bumblebee in paradise?” Gabriel’s wide smile and bouncing eyebrows already had Castiel rolling his eyes. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about Gabriel,” Castiel replied innocently. “Can’t I just be having a good morning?”

“Please. You’re as subtle as the tornado in The Wizard of Oz,” Gabriel teased as he pretended to examine the cup of coffee in his hands, easily dodging Castiel's half hearted attempts to grab it. . “So, tell me, Tin Man, what’s put the extra oomph in your step today?”

“Gabriel, believe it or not, I don’t have to explain every detail of my life to you. I said I’ve had a good morning. If and when you need to know anything else, you will,” Castiel argued, backing away and hoping Gabriel wouldn’t comment on the blush in Castiel’s cheeks.

“Okay, okay, be like that. We’ll go with that then. For now,” Gabriel snorted and started sipping on Castiel's coffee, humming and closing his eyes dramatically at the taste. Castiel rolled his eyes and grabbed the cup while his brother was caught up in his own theatrics. Gabriel just laughed and allowed him to leave with his coffee, even though they both knew he wouldn’t let it go. He never did.

Castiel made a hasty retreat for the little office hidden off in the corner. It wasn’t much. Just big enough for a desk with an old computer, a few shelves, and coat hooks. Calling it an office was a generous term as it wasn’t much more than a moderately sized closet. But it gave Castiel some semblance of privacy when he needed it. 

Finally inside his office-closet, he closed the door, hung up his old trench coat, and flopped into his squeaky desk chair. Away from the knowing and overly suspicious eyes of his brother, he allowed himself to check his phone for any new messages while the computer booted up. _Nothing yet_. Of course, it had only been about half an hour since he last checked. But no one needed to know that.

He had spoken on the phone a couple of hours ago to a grizzly voiced Bobby Singer, who mumbled something about expecting his call and how Dean already put it in the books and made it a priority for the day. Castiel’s chest fluttered a bit more that was probably necessary at hearing this. 

After dropping Anna off and waiting with her while the tow truck carried off her car, he sent a simple text to Dean’s number thanking him for his help. Castiel chewed his bottom lip and tossed his phone on the desk, scoffing internally at himself for acting like a teenager with a silly crush. It wasn’t like he really expected Dean to reply back immediately, especially if he was at work. He finished his latte while quickly checking the store’s email account, before returning to the front to help Kevin with the shipment of new paperbacks they received yesterday.

Focusing on new inventory made the hours pass by quickly, and before Castiel knew it, half the day was gone. He was just finishing setting up a new display for the most recent Stephen King thriller when the door opened and a flash of red hair caught his attention.

“Hi, Castiel!”

“Charlie! I was wondering when you were going to stop by,” Castiel said, with a big gummy smile. 

“Been a busy week, but I had to come by and see my new best friend,” Charlie said, wrapping her arms around Castiel for a quick hug. 

“Well, welcome,” Castiel answered, gesturing widely toward the rest of the store. “To what do we owe the visit? You looking for anything in particular?”

“Well, I’m definitely gonna look around, but I mostly just wanted to come and say thank you. I don’t know exactly what you said to Dean last night, but the Dean I saw sitting in his car looking like he was two seconds away from bursting into tears and the Dean who came into the studio an hour later were two different Deans. It’s been a while since I saw him practice with that much...determination. I mean he walked in with his chest kinda puffed out and this...spark in his eyes that I really didn’t expect considering the circumstances with Lisa. So, whatever you did or said last night at the coffee shop, I thank you.”

Castiel blushed. He had never considered himself to be an influential person. He stared at the neat stack of novels in front of him, his hands picking at them until they were completely aligned. 

“Um, you’re welcome I guess,” he said, unsure of himself. “I mean, I don’t really know what I did to help. I just sat and listened. Dean told me about Lisa and about how you got him into dancing after his accident and about his plans for the garage and that everything is kind of on hold now.”

Castiel chanced a look at Charlie who somehow had the same knowing smirk on her face as his brother, but before he could say anything, Charlie shook her head and looked at Castiel all serious again. 

“Yeah, Dean’s been through a lot. I hate thinking he’s gotta wait another year to give it a go with the competition. Pam seemed to think they really had a chance,” she said with a sigh while reading the back cover of a memoir by Carrie Fisher. “I mean he’s at the studio every night, no matter what, for an hour after closing. Even on nights Lisa couldn’t make it, Dean was still rehearsing. I’m sure that won’t change anytime soon by the way,” she added, looking up at him with a smile, before wandering off into the science fiction aisle. 

Castiel squinted as he watched her go, with a sneaking suspicion that she was trying to bait him into something. 

“So, who’s Dean?” Gabriel asked, giving Castiel a minor heart attack after his brother popped up out of nowhere, with one hand on his hip and the other rolling a bright red lollipop between his fingers. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with that pole thing you went to with Anna last week would it?”

“Let it go, Gabriel.” Castiel said with a snarl, walking back to the front desk.

Of course, Gabriel followed him, casually leaning against one side of the desk. “One. My name’s not Elsa; it’s like you don’t even know me. And two, it kinda sounds like you did something new, and that not a Cassie thing to do.” "Or maybe you did _someone_ new?"

Castiel kept his head down and hunched his shoulders while checking off the new inventory list. 

“Oh my god. Don’t tell me my little brother has gone and gotten himself a crush?”

Castiel remained quiet, but took a deep breath and closed his eyes. After counting to ten, he looked up at his brother. “And would it be so bad if I did?”

“Hell, no, little bro! Bout time the Tin Man got back out there to get himself a heart, among other important organs if you catch my drift.” Castiel rolled his eyes and Gabriel laughed, popping the candy back into his mouth and left Castiel alone to work.

Ten minutes later, Charlie reappeared with a small stack of books, including the Carrie Fisher memoir, and plopped them onto the desk. Castiel began ringing them up, remembering his promise of a friends and family discount, and holding up a used textbook on computer programming with a questioning look.

“What? I’m sure you have your secrets. I have mine,” she said casually, looking to the side where the bookmarks were hanging on a little display. 

Castiel huffed in laughter as he placed Charlie’s selections in a thin canvas tote bag and handed it to her, along with her change.

“You know,” she said, “you really should try it too. Pole, I mean. Might be kinda cool to have two guys at the studio for a change. You should think about it.”

Castiel had a feeling this was some kind of challenge. 

“Heh, um. Maybe. We’ll see. It was good to see you Charlie,” he said with a nervous smile, waving as she left the store.

He didn’t know how long he stood there staring at the door, chewing on his bottom lip and dissecting pieces of their conversation. Charlie was a smart girl, but she was not very subtle. It was clear she came here with an ulterior motive. He didn't really pay much mind to that though, for his brain had just come up with an incredibly intriguing idea.

While he told Kevin he’d be in the closet-office working on this week’s payroll, he had immediately pulled up a search engine. He spent the better part of two hours immersed in videos, reading pages upon pages of rules and regulations, and going to war with his own imagination. It was a crazy idea. One that was definitely out of his comfort zone. But perhaps that’s exactly what he needed. Anna was right. All he did anymore was go to work and come home to an empty apartment, eat the same dinner and reread the same books every night before dragging himself to bed, just to do it all again the next day. He’d spent so long wrapped up in his own little cocoon, hiding away from life and it’s possibilities. 

Of course, there was a chance that Dean would laugh in his face. His sensible side told him that wasn’t likely, but fear does funny things. 

His phone buzzed with a message from Anna letting him know the shop had called. Her car was all done and ready for pick up. Anxiety twisted Castiel’s stomach. If he had to drop Anna off to get her car, he would probably see Dean. As much as that thought excited him, the auto shop probably wasn’t the best place for the conversation Castiel wanted to have. His phone buzzed again, this time Anna letting him know that she was getting a ride with a coworker named Jeannine who worked in the photography department. He blew a chest full of air out of his mouth and forced his nerves to calm down. This gave him a little more time to figure out exactly what he was going to say when he did see Dean. And if Charlie was right about Dean’s practice schedule, he knew exactly where and when to find him.

Several hours later, Castiel parked his 1978 Lincoln Continental in front of Lazarus Rising pole studio. He gripped the steering wheel and forced himself to take several deep breaths to keep his heart from bursting right out of his chest. He still couldn’t believe he was doing this. But, perhaps that’s why he wanted to present this idea to Dean in the first place. He knew he needed to step out of his familiar bubble. And of course, there was Dean. Castiel barely knew him, but already he could see how strong and good Dean was. He had been through so much and if anyone deserved to have their dreams come true, it was Dean. If Castiel could contribute even a little bit, it would be worth the hard work. 

When he finally gave in this afternoon and told Gabriel what he was planning, they had gone over all the pros and cons of taking on something like this. And bless Gabriel; he only teased him for a few minutes before realizing how serious he was. One of Gabriel’s concerns (and another reason he’s a good big brother) was Castiel’s crush on Dean. Gabriel had never even met Dean so Castiel had to admit that maybe he wasn’t as subtle as he thought he was. He couldn’t deny it. And he knew going into this that there was a chance that nothing would ever come of it. If Dean wasn’t interested in him as any other kind of partner, he would have to live with that. That all being said, desire sure was one hell of a motivator. 

Castiel steadied his nerves as he walked into the front room of the studio and immediately made eye contact with Charlie, who had the biggest, most self-satisfied smile he’d ever seen on anyone who wasn’t Gabriel.

“Please tell me this means what I think it means,” Charlie asked with a quiet squeal.

His focus shifted to the big heavy curtain leading to the main floor, where he could hear a funky, bluesy rock song playing. 

“Do you think he’ll say yes?,” Castiel worried. 

“Well, there’s only one way to find out. And Pam and I are here to back you up when he puts up a fight about it,” Charlie whispered, coming to stand next to him just outside the fabric divider.

They stood completely still while Charlie silently pulled the curtain open just enough to see Dean, who was currently several feet in the air, facing away from them, oblivious to his little audience. He transitioned effortlessly from a sitting position on the pole until his entire body was extended horizontally, only his hands in contact with the pole. The lights above bounced off his body, highlighting the muscles in his back as they engaged to keep him in this position. Much to Castiel’s relief ( _or disappointment?_ ), he had switched out the tiny black shorts for a pair of black knee-length yoga pants. Not much better considering he was still shirtless, but Castiel had wondered if he’d be able to present his idea and not be a bumbling mess if Dean was nearly naked while he did it. 

Dean slowly lowered his body down until he could drop and land softly on the wood floor. The music came to an end and without warning, the curtain was pulled open dramatically to announce their presence. 

“Dean, there’s someone here to see you,” Charlie said with an innocent smile.

“Cas,” Dean acknowledged, his eyes wide in surprise as he caught his breath. “What’re you doin’ here?” 

He walked quickly over to the corner housing the sound system and cut off the music just as the next song was beginning. “Is everything okay with Anna’s car? I saw her this afternoon when she came to pick it up. I thought maybe you’d be dropping her off to get it, but I guess n- um..,” Dean paused in his rambling. “What can I do for ya?” He asked.

Dean came to stand in front of Castiel. With so much exposed skin before him, Castiel could feel his mind wiping out any sensible explanation for his presence, much like he feared. It was Charlie clearing her throat obnoxiously that brought him back. He looked to her where she nodded encouragingly. Instead of stalling and beating around the bush, perhaps it was just best to rip off the bandaid and see what happened.

_Whelp. Here goes nothing._

“Dean, what if I took Lisa’s place as your doubles routine partner?” Castiel blurted out, his eyes full of something in between hope and fear.

Dean was only silent for a few seconds.

“I’m sorry, you wanna what now?”

“I know it’s a crazy idea, but hear me out,” Castiel continued in a gentle tone, as if approaching a wild animal like Dean, who might bite him and run away if he felt threatened. 

“There’s five months until the regional competition in Dallas. I know I’m new at this, but I’m willing to commit as much time as we need to practice. My brother is willing to cover the bookstore in the evenings so we can rehearse. If you and Pam will teach me and help me, we can at least say we tried.”

Dean said nothing, eyes bouncing back and forth from Castiel to Charlie, his mouth parted slightly in a frown. The tension was broken by the privacy room door swinging open. Pam strode confidently up to them and wasted no time.

“If anyone cares about my opinion, I think it’s a good idea,” she declared with a hand on her hip. “A male duo team is pretty rare at these things, so you’ll stand out to the judges. As long as you’re both ready, willing, and able, I’m in to help. You can use the space to practice every night if you want. I’ll even give you a key to lock up when you’re done.”

“Really?” Dean asked tentatively.

“Just for you, Grumpy,” Pam answered with a wink.

Dean closed his eyes and hung his head, bringing up a hand to rub at the back of his neck.

“Come one, Dean! Shake it up a little bit!” Charlie said with a renewed spark of encouragement.

“Alright Taylor Swift, you’re done here,” Dean growled. 

“That’s “Shake It Off” Dean,” Charlie deadpanned.

Dean closed his eyes and brought up a hand to rub at his temple in frustration. Not looking up, Dean opened his mouth.

“Ladies, could I please talk to Cas alone for a minute?”

Dean and Castiel watched as Charlie and Pam made their way back to the front, the heavy curtain closing with a swoosh. There was no mistaking that they were still listening on the other side.

Turning his glare back towards Castiel, Dean couldn’t help but ask, “This was Charlie’s idea wasn’t it?”

“No. It was my idea,” Castiel replied defensively, but then he paused, tilting his head to the side in confusion. “I think? On second thought, she might have tricked me into considering it.”

“Yeah she does that,” he huffed. “How do you think I ended up doing physical therapy at a pole dance studio,” Dean asked, waving his hands around the dance space. 

“In my defense, I didn’t know they would be here for this. And well-meaning manipulation aside, I still think it’s worth giving it a shot. I mean, what do you have to lose? If we don’t try, then you have to wait another year. With me as your partner, at least we have a chance, however small.”

“Okay, okay. Say we do this. We’d have to get you strong enough for the pole, teach you choreography, it’s gonna be a hell of a sprint, man,” Dean said shaking his head.

“Yes. I understand that, Dean.”

“Okay. Then, let’s say, _if_ we win, and that’s a _big if_ at this point, how much of the winnings do you want? Lisa and I were gonna split it evenly, but if you have something else in mind, let’s just get that out of the way now.”

“I don’t want any of it, Dean. If we win, the money’s all yours.”

“Wait, what?” Dean asked, clearly taken aback. “Then why would you want to do this? Huh? Why would you want to help me?” Dean asked suspiciously.

“Because. Good things do happen, Dean.”

“Well, not in my experience. Any time something good comes around, something else manages to come right along and fuck it all up. It's been like that all my life, so you’ll have to excuse me for being wary about you suddenly coming into my life out of the blue and offering to help make my dreams come true or whatever.”

“Dean. You have these amazing plans for your future. You know what you want and you’re so close to making it happen. And if winning this can help you get closer to that, then I’d like to help. Plus, I just…,” Cas stopped mid-sentence, searching Dean’s eyes for any signs of judgment. He looked down at the floor and spoke again. “The thing is, I don’t have plans for the future. I used to. Or at least I think I did. But for a really long time now, all of my days are exactly the same. I’m just going through the motions, but not really living, you know? I just...I need something life-affirming. So, I’m doing this for me as much as I’m doing it for you.”

Castiel dared himself to look back up at Dean. For a whole minute, neither of them moved, eyes fixed on each other as if they were trying to finish the conversation without words. Dean swiped his tongue along his bottom lip, shifted on his feet, and stood up straighter. He cleared his throat and crossed his arms . “Give me twenty-four hours to think about it? I’m not saying no. I just need a day.”

  
“Oh, uh, yeah. Sure, that's totally reasonable,” Cas said, shaking his head. “Um, just give me a call or whatever when you decide.”

✵✵✵✵

That night, Castiel was finally climbing into his bed when his phone buzzed with an incoming call from where it sat on his side table. Checking the caller ID, he nearly choked on his own saliva when he saw Dean’s name. There had been a part of him that expected to never hear from the man again.

“Dean?” 

“Yeah. Sorry to be calling so late. I just wanted to let you know I’ve been thinking about it. Talking about the logistics with Pam and Charlie. And, uh. If you’re really serious, then...I’m in. Let’s do it.”

Castiel’s mouth twitched in a smile after he blew out the breath he’d been holding. He had no idea that three little words could be so exciting and so terrifying at the same time.

“But I’m only in if we split any prize money fifty-fifty. That’s how Lisa and I were going to do it and I don’t think that should change. With as much time and effort that you’ll be putting into this, there’s no way I’ll agree to keeping all of it if we win.”

Castiel rolled his eyes to himself. He should have known Dean would be uncomfortable accepting all of the money if they won. With a sigh, he smiled up at the ceiling. “Okay Dean. Fifty-fifty. You have yourself a deal.”

> _♪So, the world is spinning faster_
> 
> _Are you dizzy when you stall_
> 
> _Let the music be your master_
> 
> _Will ya heed the master’s call_
> 
>   
>    
> 


	4. Zero Gravity

> _♪Within a heartbeat_
> 
> _you change reality_
> 
> _in the blink of an eye_
> 
> _we touch infinity_

“Charlie, tell me this idea isn’t completely crazy,” Dean asked, staring out of the windows to the dark parking lot.

“Would that be such a bad thing? I happen to think you could use a few crazy ideas.” Charlie’s mouth ticked up on one side when she looked up at Dean. 

It had been two days since Dean agreed to take on Castiel as a partner. Tonight marked their first official rehearsal. Rehearsal was a loose term here, since he and Pam would be putting Cas through a crash course on Pole 101 as quickly and as safely possible. They budgeted at least a few weeks to bring Cas up to speed and let him gain the necessary strength and skill to actually start practicing choreography. Pam’s Intro to Pole class was an eight week course. They were hoping to cut that in half for Castiel. 

A few minutes later, the door swung open and a gust of wind blew through the front room. Castiel walked in right on time, his dark hair a mess and bulky trench coat pulled open from the wind, making him look wild and disheveled. Dean quickly schooled his face so he wasn’t caught gawking at the guy. He couldn’t help but notice how nervous Cas looked, his movements stilted and jittery as he approached them at the front desk, slinging a duffle bag over his shoulder. He also noticed that Cas was still dressed in his work clothes. His crisp white shirt was still tucked neatly into fitted dress pants, which hugged his body just right, suggesting that Cas was all muscle underneath. The only thing out of place was the blue tie, already pulled loose from his neck and laying wrong side up. Dean ran his eyes down Cas’ body and immediately felt like a perv for imagining what he looked like without all those layers. Some part of his brain obviously wasn’t working because his fingers itched to reach up and fix Cas’ tie until it laid flat against his chest. Luckily, he kept his hands to himself.

“Hey, Cas. Glad you made it,” he said awkwardly.

“Um, me too. I have to admit I’m kind of nervous. I just hope I don’t make too big a fool of myself. You can feel free to call this whole thing off if I’m terrible. I won’t take offense, I promise.”

“Nah, I’m sure it won’t be as bad as you think. I promise to give this a shot if you do. But same goes for you, buddy. If you hate it and want to back out, no hurt feelings on my end,” Dean replied, trying to sound as optimistic as possible. He offered his hand out to Cas.

Castiel hesitated for a moment, but grabbed Dean’s hand to seal their promise. “Deal,” Cas said nodding with a tight smile.

“Sorry I’m not dressed yet, but I knew I wouldn’t have time to go home and change, so I just brought clothes with me. I hope running shorts are okay for now.”

“Well, you could always just strip down to your skivvies.” Dean couldn’t help his stupid mouth, but when Cas’ eyes shot up in shock, he just gave his most charming smile and hoped he hadn’t already scared the guy off. “Just kidding. Running shorts are fine for now,” he added. 

“Ahem,” Charlie rumbled obnoxiously, clearing her throat from where she stood, her eyes bouncing from Dean to Cas. 

Turning his attention to her, Cas smiled, genuinely happy to see her. “Hey Charlie, how have you been?” 

“Since I saw you three days ago,” Charlie giggled, coming around the front desk to stand in front of him. “Great, actually! I used that Carrie Fisher book I got from you to devise a scavenger hunt for my girlfriend, Dorothy. The whole thing ended with me proposing and her saying yes! So...I’m engaged!”

Castiel’s mouth dropped open in surprise. His blue eyes sparkled as he beamed back at her.

“Oh my god, Charlie, that’s amazing! Congratulations! Oh, I’m so happy for you,” he said, stepping forward to wrap his arms around her in a quick hug. 

Dean was the first person who knew about the engagement. He’d known about it for weeks actually, since he helped Charlie plan the whole thing. And his happiness for her still hadn’t dwindled one bit. When he was still recovering from his accident, Charlie sat with him in his hospital room almost as much as Sam. She snuck him junk food and made him laugh when he was truly at his lowest. When traditional physical therapy only frustrated him to the point of madness, it was her idea to visit the studio. Suggested that Pam work with him slowly and patiently with different exercises using the pole and his own body weight to rebuild muscle and strength. Neither Pam or Charlie took any bullshit and they didn’t patronize him like the physical therapists did. He owed so much to both of them. But especially Charlie. Charlie was his sister in every way but blood. 

Dean was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard his name.

“And Dean here is going to be my Man of Honor and give me away,” Charlie said, proudly, grinning towards him. 

“Yeah, I really wanted to be the flower girl, but I got shot down when I brought it up,” Dean joked. Castiel broke out into a fit of giggles. His smile was so big it accentuated the little lines around his eyes, while he tried to control the rest of his body as it bounced with each laugh. 

_Laughing looked good on him._

When he finally calmed down, Castiel looked at Dean fondly.

“Well, that’s too bad. But as amusing as that is to imagine, I’m sure you’ll be just as lovely escorting Ms. Bradbury down the aisle.”

Dean knew Cas was still joking at his expense, but that didn’t stop the traitorous blush he could feel spreading over his cheeks. He ducked his head, rubbing the back of his neck. 

He was saved by the dramatic swoosh of the curtain. Pam stepped out to greet them with a smirk, decked out in her signature black yoga pants and cropped Motley Crue t-shirt. 

“Well boys? Let’s get started, shall we?”

“Uh, yeah. I just need to get changed first,” Cas said nervously.

“Yeah, follow me sugar,” Pam said, turning to walk back into the studio space. Castiel gripped his bag and followed dutifully.

Before Dean could follow after them, he caught Charlie side eyeing him with a weird look on her face.

“What? What’s that face for?”

“Oh nothing. Just wondering if you’re gonna be able to help me pay for my insulin shots when I eventually get diabetes from you guys,” she teased. 

Dean furrowed his brow. “Shut up,” he said, giving her his best bitch face.

✵✵✵✵

Minutes later Dean and Castiel stood side by side in front of Pam with their backs to the giant mirror. Castiel had switched his suit for a pair of navy blue running shorts and a plain white t-shirt. Over the years, Dean had gotten used to walking around almost naked, wearing nothing but his black dance shorts. The more bare skin the better for gripping the pole. But tonight was mostly to introduce Castiel to the space and get an idea of his strength and flexibility so he and Pam knew how to better teach him. So Dean wore his favorite AC/DC t-shirt and his cropped black yoga pants. Years ago, he wouldn’t have been caught dead in something like that. But dammit, they were comfortable and he liked the way his ass looked in them. So yoga pants had become a staple in his wardrobe. 

“So, Castiel. Dean told me you’ve had some pretty extensive martial arts training?”

“Uh, yes. Aikido, specifically. Growing up, our father insisted we know how to defend ourselves properly if the need ever arose. It hasn’t, but that’s beside the point,” he said, rolling his eyes. “My brothers practice karate, but I found aikido to be more enjoyable in study. It teaches one how to take down an attacker without mortally injuring them. I don’t believe in using any more violence than is necessary, unlike my brothers. I’m still fairly proficient, although I stopped practicing about two years ago. Now I mostly just run in the mornings before work.”

Dean had been around Pam long enough now that he could tell when an idea was forming in her head. 

“Interesting,” she said, crossing her arms and tapping a finger against her chin. “I know we won’t get into choreography for a while, but do you think you’d be able to teach Dean a few floor moves?”

Dean looked to his side and could see Cas swallowing hard before answering her, his voice low and rough. “Yes, I’m sure I could show him a few things.”

Dean closed his eyes and bit the inside of his cheek to fight against the swelling of his cock which had perked up like a damned teenager. He was suddenly grateful he chose these particularly loose fitting yoga pants. 

“Great! We’ll get back to that. But tonight I wanted to go over what to expect for the actual competition and show you some pole basics and a few exercises to start strengthening your core. Why don’t we pop a squat for the first bit?”

Pam dropped where she was and crossed her legs in front of her. Dean and Castiel copied her. Dean already knew all the ins and outs of the competition weekend, but he listened anyway. 

“So, the regional level is in Dallas this year on the first weekend in June. That gives us just four and half months to get you ready.” Pam’s mouth was pulled tight. “Most dancers practice for a couple of years before competing. So we’ve got our work cut out for us. There’s a list of rules and regulations. Castiel, I’ll give you a copy before you leave tonight so you can go over it. The short version is this. Each routine may be no longer than three minutes. The stage is set up with two poles, one spinning pole and the other locked as a static pole. Both must be utilized during your routine as well as floor moves. There are four judges scoring on quality of execution, difficulty of moves and combinations, stage presence and uniqueness of the performance. Now I’ve been doing this for a very long time. So I know how rare it is for a doubles team with two men. I think this is where we can have the advantage. We can make you stand out to the judges and make it impossible to forget you. Like I said the other day, I’ll give Dean a key so you two can practice after classes are done for the day. I recommend taking at least two days off a week to let yourself rest. Other than that, I’ll let you two figure out a schedule that works for you. Just keep me updated, okay?”

From there, they moved on to showing Cas how to grip the pole, and how to use the pole for conditioning exercises. Dean would demonstrate first and Cas would copy him. It only took him a few tries to be able to pull his feet up into a crunch, holding onto the pole for support. Each time he got something right, he looked over at Dean and smiled. 

They’d been at it for a couple of hours when Pam announced she was officially done for the night. She disappeared to her back office for a few minutes and returned with her bag and a silver key that she pressed into Dean’s palm. 

“Stay as long as you want. You know how this place works. Lock up when you’re done. Behave yourselves. Lose this key and I’ll kill you. Any questions?”

“No ma’am,” Dean answered her respectfully. “Thanks for this Pam.”

“You’re welcome sweetie. You boys have a good night,” Pam said, already heading toward the door. 

After Pam shut the door behind her, Dean and Castiel looked at each other. This was the first time they were truly alone together. 

“Alright, then. I think it’s time for some tunes.” Dean turned on his heel, trying to break the tension, and walked straight to the stereo system. Cranking up Led Zeppelin always helped get him in the zone during practice. He bopped his head along with the beat and turned around to find Castiel staring at him with a curious look. “What’s wrong?”

Cas blinked and looked down. “Um, maybe this is a really bad time to mention this, but I don’t really know how to dance.”

“Are you kidding? Everyone knows how to dance!”

“Apparently I’m not everyone,” Cas replied defensively. “My sister teases me about it. She says I wasn’t born with any kind of natural rhythm.”

Dean closed his eyes and counted to ten, taking in a deep breath and slowly exhaling through his nose. When he was on eight, he got an idea. It was silly, but it was worth a shot.

“Okay, Cas. We don’t exactly need to know how to waltz here or anything but it’ll help later when we’re figuring out our choreography,” he said, going back to the stereo to change the song to something slower, easier to follow. “Um, come here.” 

Castiel furrowed his brow in confusion but did as Dean asked, coming to stand directly in front of him.

“Just go with me on this okay. Give me your hand.” Castiel offered Dean his hand, palm up, which Dean took and placed flat against his own chest. Dean silently cursed himself for immediately thinking about how large Cas’ hands were. _Oh well, too late now._

“Can you feel my heartbeat? Use that as the rhythm okay. Let’s start with that.

“Um, Dean. I know what you’re doing. This is the same trick that Johnny used in Dirty Dancing when he was teaching Baby how to dance.” 

“Oh,” Dean grunted. “Didn’t think you’d catch that,” he mumbled to himself.

Dean knew his face was flushed, and it wasn’t because the room was too warm. Castiel fought to hold back a giggle.

“Well, whatever. Swayze always gets a pass. Now, move your feet asshole.

And that’s how their first practice ended. With Dean teaching Castiel how to dance. It was silly and uncoordinated. The music swirled around them while they laughed and teased each other. Castiel only stepped on Dean’s toes a few times, but Dean couldn’t find himself to mind one bit.

✵✵✵✵

The days quickly turned into weeks. From the very beginning, day after day, Cas showed up. He put in the work. Obviously he was always strong, thanks to his years of martial arts training. But in their rehearsals, he gained a new kind of strength. A new confidence. There was a brightness in his eyes that had been dulled when Dean first met him. Now they seemed to sparkle each time he walked into the studio. 

Castiel’s skill grew exponentially each week. Every time he mastered a new move, his face lit up with enthusiastic pride. The day he mastered his first inversion, he wrapped his arms around Dean and squeezed him tight, before quickly pulling away again. It did funny things to Dean’s insides.

Dean also realized he was enjoying his time at the studio more than he usually did. He was sleeping well every night, falling into bed physically exhausted but feeling more and more satisfied with their progress. Even Bobby had mentioned how “chipper” he was at the shop.

Of course in the back of his mind, Dean knew he was dangerously close to a state he could only describe as contentment. He could feel himself falling farther and farther into a place that might be impossible to climb out of again. 

It didn’t help that every rehearsal ended the same, with Castiel in his arms, their bodies wrapped around each other, clinging to the same pole, as the music came to an end. Every day, Dean memorized each dip and slope of Castiel’s body, his eyes drinking in their fill and his hands studying the muscle carved under warm, tan skin. 

One night in March, much like every other night, they had the space to themselves. Pam and Charlie usually took off while they were still working and let Dean lock up when they were done. Much like their first night, they had dimmed the lights and turned up the music.

They’d been working on a particularly difficult move when Cas came down from a spin and gasped in pain.

“Ah, fuck! Hold on, Dean, we gotta take a break,” he grumbled. “My back is killing me,” he said, hunched over and attempting to rub at a sore spot with the back of his hand while holding on to the pole for support. Without thinking, Dean immediately stepped up behind Cas and laid a gentle hand on his warm skin, about mid way down his back and to the right of his spine. 

“Right here?” Dean pushed at the muscle with his thumb, causing Castiel to moan and drop his head to one side. 

“Oh yeah. Right there. Can you push a little harder?” 

Dean’s self control was definitely being tested. Castiel had a voice made for sex, and here he was moaning in his ear while Dean had his hands on him. He forced his body under control before it could betray him with an inappropriately timed erection. 

“It’s no wonder you’re sore, buddy,” he said with a false casualness. “You’re covered in knots back here. Can you sit?”

Cas dropped to the floor with a thump and hung his head down. Dean followed him, splaying his legs on either side of Cas’ body to get closer to his back. He used both hands to knead at the tight muscle where Cas had indicated, before moving on to work at his shoulders and the knots under his shoulder blades. “Man, we’ve gotta make sure you stretch more. This isn’t good for you.”

“I’m sorry Dean. I didn’t mean to slow us down tonight,” Cas answered in between deep breaths and gravelly moans. 

“There’s no need to apologize Cas. I just don’t want you pushing yourself and getting hurt.”

Still seated in between Dean’s legs, Cas turned his head to one side so that he could look back at Dean. “Thank you Dean. You’ve been really patient with all this. I just don’t want to let you down after all our hard work,” he admitted quietly.

“You won’t, Cas. I promise you, whether we win or lose at regionals, I’m still glad we did this.”

“You are?” Cas said, just above a whisper. 

“Yeah,” Dean forced out. The air felt different all of a sudden. Thicker. Dean’s hands grazed over Castiel’s heated skin, along his side. His eyes flicked down to Castiel’s mouth, now mere inches away from his. This wasn’t the first time he had a desire to find out what Cas’ lips tasted like. He looked back up to find Cas’ gaze also directed toward his mouth. 

What felt like a lifetime passed in the few seconds while Dean was pulled in closer to Castiel by some invisible force. Dean’s heart pounded in his chest when their lips brushed together, barely touching. Castiel’s lips felt like a live wire that sent a course of electricity through Dean’s veins that he could feel in the tips of his fingers. He studied Cas’ face for any signs that he had misread the signals and crossed a line. Finding only want in those big blue eyes, Dean leaned forward again to seal their mouths together in a soft but heated kiss. Kiss after kiss after kiss, they sat, Cas leaning back against Dean’s chest. Cas brought a hand up, reaching behind him to card his fingers though Dean’s hair. When Cas’ tongue brushed against his mouth, Dean let out a breathy moan, quickly parting his lips to let Cas in. He let his hands wander over Cas’ ribs and around to his belly. When he lightly traced over a nipple with his finger nail, Castiel shivered in his arms and arched his back, bringing his ass in direct contact with Dean’s groin. They pulled apart, panting against each other. Dean looked down, over Castiel’s shoulder, to see Cas’ cock tenting obscenely in his tiny black shorts. Surely, Cas could feel that Dean was under the same effect from where he sat, Dean’s entire length trapped between his belly and Cas’ back, throbbing. 

Never breaking eye contact, Dean slowly lowered his hand, his fingers skimming over Castiel’s body, until they found the hem of his shorts. He dipped a finger below the fabric, but didn’t go any further, giving Castiel the chance to pull away if he wanted. Castiel only continued to look up at him through dark lashes until he slowly nodded his head, urging Dean to press on. When Dean finally wrapped his fingers around his cock, Cas let out a loud sigh, threw his head back against Dean’s shoulder, his mouth open and eyes closed.

“Ungh, Dean! Fuck, that feels good,” he whispered. 

“Shh, I’ve got you, Angel,” Dean whispered back, as he worked his hand over Cas’ length, gradually picking up speed. His thumb played at the slit, spreading precome over the head, making it easier for Cas to fuck his fist. He mouthed along Cas’ neck, until his lips latched on to a patch of skin with a sudden possessive desire to leave a mark on Cas’ body. 

Dean wrapped his free arm around Cas’ waist to keep him as close as possible while he worked to get Cas off. His legs hugged Cas’ sides tight as Cas gently rocked his ass back and forth against Dean’s cock with the deliciously right amount of pressure. 

“Fuck, Cas,” Dean growled against his ear. “Do you have any idea how bad I want you? Do you have any idea what you do to me? How many times I’ve laid in bed at night thinking about touching you like this? How many times I’ve come thinking about you?”

Without warning, Cas screamed out, his head thrown back against Dean’s shoulder as he spilled himself all over Dean’s hand, arching his back even more as he came, rutting even harder against Dean’s painfully hard dick. Dean held him tight and peppered his neck with kisses while he continued to spasm, until his entire body sagged against Dean’s chest. 

Dean gently tucked Cas’ softening cock back inside his shorts. While Dean’s dick was still rock hard and aching for release, a part of him was also perfectly happy to just sit here holding Cas while he came down from his orgasm. Cas finally opened his glossy blue eyes and looked up at Dean with a soft, satisfied grin.

“Well, does your back feel better now?” Dean joked to break the tension.

“Much better, thank you,” he huffed. “I’d really like to repay you for your kindness, if that’s okay.”

Dean hummed in agreement. “What did you have in mind?”

Without another word, Cas leaned forward and turned around, until he was finally facing Dean. He crawled forward over Dean’s torso, urging Dean to lay back on his elbows. 

“Well, I was thinking about finding out exactly what your cock tastes like.”

“Oh, Jesus fuck,” Dean gasped, his cock twitching in response. 

“In fact, I’ve been thinking about it for a while now too. Getting my mouth on you,” Cas said in a low and ragged voice while his eyes travelled up and down Dean’s body. And with that, Cas brought his mouth down to Dean’s nipple, bit down lightly, before sucking hard. 

“Ahh, fuck Cas! You’re killing me, sweetheart. I'm already kind of on the edge here and I’m gonna come right here right now if you keep that up,” Dean warned, squeezing his eyes shut, trying with everything he had to keep his body under his control. 

Cas swirled his tongue around the overly sensitive nub before looking up. “I’ll have to remember that,” mumbled with a smirk. He moved down Dean’s body, placing kisses over his rib cage, dipping his tongue into his navel, and nipping at his hips. He tugged Dean’s black shorts down, tucking the front of them under his balls. 

“I’ve had to watch you strut around here, swinging around on a goddamned stripper pole, nearly naked and completely perfect. It’s been torture,” he rumbled, before finally sweeping his hot flat tongue up Dean’s length from root to tip like he was licking an ice cream cone. 

Dean struggled to take in a breath while watching Cas swirl his tongue around the head. Cas lifted his face to look up at Dean, leaving behind a little string of saliva on his cock.

“Fuck, Cas,” he panted. “You’re the hottest thing I’ve ever seen, you know that?”

When Dean thought Cas couldn’t get any sexier, the asshole fucking winked at him with a lop-sided grin, before wrapping his lips around Dean and sinking down, taking him all the way in one seamless motion. He hummed around his shaft and bobbed his head, slowly but steadily increasing the suction. Dean shifted his weight until he could support himself on one elbow, and brought a hand up to card his fingers through Cas’ wild hair. 

“Cas,“ he whined. “Cas, I’m not gonna last very long, Angel. You feel too damned good. I feel like I’m gonna explode,” Dean warned. Castiel squeezed the base of Dean’s cock and doubled his efforts. He sucked hard around the head, hollowed his cheeks and took him all the way down again until Dean could feel the back of his throat. Cas swallowed around him, making Dean cry out. 

“Oh my fucking god, Cas, do that again! Do that again, please, please,” Dean begged. “You’re gonna make me come, I’m so fucking close!”

The fucker not only swallowed again, but he did it over and over again, milking Dean’s cock until the dam burst and Dean was spilling down his throat. He tried pulling Cas off as soon as it started, but Castiel gripped his hips and kept his mouth sealed over Dean's cock, swallowing everything. His vision whited out and his entire body seized up. He could feel fireworks in his toes, and he thought for a quick second, this might be the thing that finally kills him. But what a way to go.

His dick finally stopped pulsing inside Cas’ mouth and he pulled off with an obnoxiously loud, wet pop. He barely paid attention when Cas readjusted his shorts, pulling them back up over his spent cock. Dean’s body went completely boneless where he laid, staring up at the open industrial ceiling of the studio. 

Naturally, Dean’s mind wouldn’t let him enjoy his post-orgasm high for very long. 

_What the fuck just happened?_

They just got each other off. On the floor, in the middle of the pole studio. And now what? Were they supposed to cuddle or something? Would Cas expect some kind of freaking relationship now? Dean didn’t do relationships. Hell, he barely managed to keep his own head above water most days. And why did he have to go and admit that he thought about Cas when he jerked off at home? His stupid sex-brain clearly wasn’t getting enough oxygen at the time, resulting in word vomit.

He was vaguely aware that Cas had gotten up, padding away quietly, as if he knew Dean needed a minute to collect his thoughts and reel his panic back in. Maybe Cas needed a minute as well.

“Well I certainly didn’t expect that when I came in tonight,” Cas said a minute later, pulling Dean out of his spiraling thoughts. He slowly sat up to find Cas walking back toward him. His jeans were back on and his blue button up was halfway done already. Maybe Cas was panicking too and couldn’t wait to get out of here. Dean wouldn’t blame him. He had gone too far, taken advantage of the situation, and now Cas would be too uncomfortable around him. What if he quit? Dean’s chest ached at the thought of Cas walking out of here and never coming back, all because Dean couldn’t keep his hands to himself. 

Dean looked up when he felt Cas nudge the side of his leg with his bare foot. Cas stood over him, looking down with a smirk. 

“Move, will ya? I’ve got to wipe this floor down or I’ll never be able to look at Pam again. Her eyes would probably burn right out of her head if she found cum on the floor. When she gave you that key, she told us to behave ourselves and I’m pretty sure this is the exact opposite of what she meant,” he said with a giggle. That’s when Dean noticed the rag in his hand that reeked of Clorox. 

“Uh, yeah,” he answered, pulling himself up. They stood there, staring at each other. Of course when Cas had his dick in his mouth, he couldn’t shut up. Now, Dean had no idea what to say. 

“Um, I figured we were probably done with practice for tonight. I hope you don’t mind,” Cas said, looking down at his feet.

“No, that’s...yeah that’s fine. We can call it an early night,” Dean said, nodding. “I’m gonna go get cleaned up and get dressed.”

Dean left Castiel standing in the middle of the open room. He grabbed his bag holding his clothes and seconds later locked the door inside the little bathroom by Pam’s office. He moved on autopilot, washing his hands and splashing water on his face. He didn’t dare look at himself in the mirror. He dressed quickly, slung his bag over his shoulder, and took a deep breath before walking back out, not sure what to expect. 

Castiel stood against the opposite wall, looking down at his phone. He peered up at Dean with a shy smile. He didn’t seem to be panicking as much as Dean was. Or maybe he was good at hiding it. They stood facing each other in a heavy silence.

“This is weird now,” Dean uttered.

“Yeah,” Castiel replied. “But, I say we don’t overthink this. We’ve been working really closely together almost everyday for months. Maybe it was bound to happen at some point, you know? And now, we got it out of our systems, so we can get back on focus. No harm, no foul.”

Castiel seemed to be talking to a scratch on the floor rather than to Dean, like he was also trying to convince himself it was no big deal. 

“Yeah. Okay. Agreed. It happened. We’re all good. Won’t happen again,” Dean offered. 

They made their way out the door without another word, Dean locking up after them. 

“So, I’ll see you tomorrow,” Castiel said as they walked to where their cars were parked next to one another.

“Yeah. Night Cas,” Dean replied with a soft smile before climbing into the driver’s seat of the Impala. 

That night, Dean couldn’t sleep.

  



	5. When the Levee Breaks

> _♪If it keeps on rainin', levee's goin' to break_
> 
> _If it keeps on rainin', levee's goin' to break_
> 
> _When the levee breaks I'll have no place to stay_

As the weeks progressed, Dean and Castiel kept to their word. Neither of them brought up what happened that night. Rehearsals continued as expected and soon their routine was like a second nature. Their days were long and Castiel usually fell into his bed every night exhausted but satisfied in a way he hadn’t felt in a very long time. Of course, he usually woke up hard, rutting against his sheets with the memory of Dean beneath him still fresh in his mind. His dreams wouldn’t let him forget that night. Which made him more nervous about this weekend. He and Dean were sharing a room. 

Time had marched forward like it always does, the days grew longer and warmer, and suddenly, the weekend of the regional competition was here. Since it was being held in Dallas, everyone agreed to split up and take two cars for the three hour road trip. Charlie, Dorothy, and Pam were taking Charlie’s yellow Volkswagen Beetle. That left Dean driving Cas, Sam, and Jess in the Impala. 

When Dean pulled up in Castiel’s driveway early Saturday morning, he’d expected to be sitting in the back with Jess. But to his surprise, the only open spot was up front by Dean. 

“Mornin’ sunshine! You ready to show ‘em what we got?” Dean’s excitement was palpable as he bounced out of the car to open the trunk for Castiel’s duffle bag.

“Hello Dean. I guess I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.” Castiel leaned down into the open window. “Good morning Sam. Jess,” he answered, giving a little awkward wave to the couple in the back seat. He slid onto the leather seat and set down a small paper gift bag from his store next to him. When Dean took his place in the driver’s seat he looked over curiously at the bag. 

“Whatcha got there Cas?”

“I just put together an assortment of pastries from the store that we can eat on the road. I’ve got banana nut muffins for Sam, some chocolate Danish for Jess, and of course some hand pies that you should be able to eat while driving.”

The car was silent, save for the noise Cas made buckling his seat belt. When he looked up, Dean was looking back at him with a soft smile and pink cheeks. 

“You brought me pie?”

“Um. Yes,” he answered quietly. “I didn’t know what kind you’d be in the mood for so early in the morning, so I brought apple and pecan.”

“Thanks,” Dean said, still staring at Cas. 

“Ahem,” Sam interrupted, clearing his throat and reaching forward to grab the bag. “Thanks Castiel! This is awesome!” He rummaged around for a moment before pulling out treats for Jess and himself and returning the bag to the front seat.

Dean leaned down in between them to haul up a worn cardboard box full of cassette tapes and dropped it right in Cas’s lap. “And for being awesome, you get to choose our driving music.”

“What!?” Sam squawked from the back. “You never let me choose what we listen to,” he said, pouting.

“That’s because you never bring me driving pie Sammy.”

Castiel smiled as he quickly sorted through the tapes in front of him before selecting Led Zeppelin IV and gently pushing it into the tape deck. He wasn’t sure if that had been a test or not, but Dean’s smile and approving nod made him feel like he got it right anyway. 

✵✵✵✵

By noon they were inside the convention center and checked in with the registration table. Since Dean was also signed up in the solo category, he would be competing today. The duo routines were judged on day two. While Dean went backstage to get ready for his routine, everyone else claimed an area together in the audience. 

Even though he still had a day, Castiel’s nerves made him anxious and fidgety. Sam must’ve picked up on it when he nudged Castiel’s arm. 

“Hey. Don’t be nervous, man. You guys are gonna be great tomorrow.”

“Thanks, Sam,” Castiel replied. “I just don’t want to make a fool of myself and let Dean down. He’s got so much riding on this. I’d hate to disappoint him after he’s worked so hard.”

“You know, I haven’t seen Dean this excited about something in a long time. It’s nice to see. Thank you. For getting him here.”

“Um, you’re welcome,” Castiel uttered.

“And don’t worry about disappointing him. I don’t think you could,” Sam continued. “To be fair, the only person Dean ever blames for anything is himself. That’s just how he is. So, if things don’t go well tomorrow, just be ready for that.”

“Why would he blame himself if it isn’t his fault?”

Sam looked down at his hands in his lap and sat silent for a few breaths.

“Dean didn’t tell you everything about the accident, did he?” 

“Um, I mean I didn’t really think it was appropriate to ask for details. I just know that he was in a coma for a few weeks after.”

Sam nodded in response. “So, you probably don’t know that our dad and I were also in the car.”

“What? I thought you two didn’t get along with your dad?”

“Yeah. We didn’t. For a long time,” he said with a bitter half smile. “Then one night, we got a call from him. Said he was in town and wanted to meet with us for dinner. Dean was against it at first, but I finally got him to agree to it. So, we picked Dad up at his hotel and we all went out. Dad told us he’d been sober for two years, and even had talked to a therapist a few times. He apologized for all the shit he did when we were kids. All the stuff he said before we left. Told us he was proud of us; that he wanted us to be a family again. I still remember the look on Dean’s face,” Sam said, a far away look in his eyes. 

“On the way back to Dad’s hotel, we got t-boned by a drunk driver, on the passenger side of the car. Somehow, I was fine, just some cuts and bruises. Dean was pinned. He was unconscious, but he was breathing. Dad didn’t make it. They said he died instantly.”

“I...Sam I don’t even know what to say.”

“After Dean finally woke up, of course he blamed himself for the whole thing. He thinks his life is cursed or something. Every time he gets close to having something good, it gets taken away. We lost our mom when we were kids. Dean had to take care of me after that since Dad kinda checked out. So he never got to be a kid. He’s used to losing things he cares about. So, I’m begging you, Castiel. Don’t be something else he has to lose.”

“Sam, I promise I’m doing all I can to make sure we don’t lose the competition, but I can’t guarantee it.”

“I’m not talking about the competition, Cas. I’ve seen the way you guys look at each other.”

“How does he look at me?”

  
“He looks at you the way I look at Jess. So, if you like him too, the way I think you do, just be patient with him. Because he’s probably scared shitless.” 

Castiel’s mind swirled with this new information. Dean had been through so much in his life. So much had been taken from him. No wonder he was so afraid of getting his hopes up and letting himself be happy. He was always waiting for the next shoe to drop and the inevitable disappointment that followed. It made Cas’ chest hurt. Dean deserved every good thing life had to offer.

A few hours later Castiel and the rest of Dean’s cheering squad whooped and hollered as Dean was announced as the first place winner in the men’s solo category. Of course Castiel was biased, but there was no doubt Dean was the best in the group. The other routines were good of course. But they were also a little boring. Their music selection was bland and their performance was basic. Watching Dean up on stage, under the lights with the wailing rhythms of Led Zeppelin was hypnotizing. Dean was unforgettable. 

That night found them all scrunched together in a large booth at a bar a few blocks from the hotel. A few greasy appetizers were being shared and the beer flowed easily. Castiel could barely move where he sat squished between Dean and the wall, but he couldn’t find himself to care. It had been years since he could remember having this much fun with friends. He and Ishim certainly had never had nights out like this. 

It didn’t hurt that Dean was an extremely flirty drunk. He kept finding reasons to touch him. Like reaching up to tug on his hair when he teased about how unruly it was. He brushed his thumb over Cas’ chin and with a wink suggested he not shave before the competition because the scruff was sexy. Before long, their faces were barely inches apart, giggling over stupid jokes and paying no attention to their friends. Castiel really did his best to look Dean in the eye and not at his tempting mouth. He must not have been doing a very good job. Eventually, Dean leaned over, lips ghosting over the shell of his ear to whisper.

“Cas, you know. The last time a guy looked at me like that, I got laid,” Dean said with a wink.

“Very funny Dean.”

“I’m not joking.”

Castiel swallowed hard and dropped his gaze back to Dean’s mouth. Emboldened by the alcohol running through his veins, he knocked back the whisky he’d been nursing. Keeping his voice low enough for only Dean to hear, he replied, “As much fun as I’m having here, I do think we should get to bed soon. Wouldn’t you agree?” Castiel hoped Dean picked up on the hint. Fortunately, he did. A minute later they excused themselves from the group, claiming they needed a full night’s rest for the next day. 

When they burst through their hotel room door, it was a mess of giggles and rough kisses. Cas managed to lead them to one of the room’s double beds where Dean dropped onto the edge of the mattress and looked up at him through thick lashes.

“I think you should fuck me,” Dean said, grinning and leaning back on his hands.  
  
“Oh you do? Are you sure?”

“Yes. I think we should fuck. Just get it out of our system. Cause if I have to try and sleep while you’re just right there in the next bed, I might go insane.”

“I thought we “got it out of our system” when we did it the first time.” Cas paused where he stood over Dean, his eyes roaming up and down Dean’s body. “However, you do make a compelling argument.” 

“I was hoping you’d say that. Um, I have a condom in my bag if you want it. I’m clean just so you know, though. I haven’t actually been with anyone else since the accident,” Dean said, looking down at the patterned bedspread. 

“Wait, what? It’s been six years?! But you...you’re _you_. You’re perfect. I know you said it’s been a while, but I didn’t think you meant that long. How is that possible?”

“I’ve been busy,” Dean replied, shrugging his shoulders.

“But if it’s been six years since you’ve had sex, why did you bring that condom?”

“Just because it hasn’t happened doesn’t mean I’m not prepared for it just in case, Cas,” Dean said with a smirk.

Cas arched a brow in acknowledgement. “Just like a good Boy Scout,” Cas said roughly.

Dean’s only response was to spread his legs to allow Cas to get even closer and to raise his hand in the three finger Scout salute. Seconds later, he lowered his index and ring finger until he was left giving Castiel the middle finger and a shit eating grin. Before he could lower his hand however, Cas grabbed his wrist. Without breaking eye contact, he ducked his head and took Dean’s middle finger into his mouth and sucked hard, slowly releasing him until his teeth grazed over the tip. 

“I’m clean, too,” Cas admitted quietly while kissing each of Dean’s fingertips. “I got tested after my last relationship ended. That was two years ago. And I haven’t been with anyone since then either,” he added in a whisper.

“But you’re _you_. You’re perfect,” Dean said, parroting his own words back to him. 

Castiel looked down at him, feeling something he didn’t want to give a name to. “So, no condom then? It’ll be messier that way, you know,” he suggested with a lop-sided smile.

“Good.” Dean reached up to run his palm over the bulge in Cas’ jeans. “I’d rather feel you. All of you,” Dean answered, his voice rougher than it was only a moment ago. He popped open the button and slowly lowered the zipper down, running his tongue over his bottom lip. He looked back up at Cas before reaching inside his boxers, pulling him out, and skimming his thumb over the head. 

Cas’ eyes fluttered and he exhaled loudly.

“Dean,” he stuttered. 

With a lop-sided grin, Dean leaned forward, flattened his tongue and gave a long, slow lick along the underside of his shaft. He swiped his tongue back and forth over the tip and closed his lips around it, sucking gently. 

“God, Dean,” Cas panted. “You really are a beautiful sight. Your lips around my cock.”

Dean’s eyes shot up to find Cas looking back at him, his pupils blown.

“As tempting as it is, I don’t want to come like that right now.” Castiel gathered the hem of Dean’s t-shirt and pulled it up over his head. “Scoot back,” Cas ordered, gently pushing Dean away until he complied, crawling backward and laying his head on the down pillow. Castiel pulled his shirt up over his head and followed after him on his hands and knees until Dean was boxed in. Hovering over him, Cas leaned down to kiss Dean, before continuing along his jawline, brushing his lips slowly down Dean’s neck where he placed another kiss just under his ear.

“We still need lube. I’m happy to open you up with my tongue if you want,” he whispered low and rough. “But if you want my cock inside you, we need to find lube.” 

“Fuck, Cas, you’re killing me here,” Dean whined. “There’s lube in my bag. In the side pocket where the condoms are. I’m gonna need us to move things along if you’re gonna keep talking like that, or else I’m gonna come in my pants,” he added with a hint of desperation.

Castiel, being the tease that he was, lowered his body just enough to grind hard and slow against Dean. “Be patient.”

Castiel crawled off the bed, leaving Dean a desperate mess of arousal. He fumbled around in Dean’s bag before raising his hand triumphantly, holding onto a handful of lube packets. 

As he made his way back to the bed, Cas tugged his jeans and underwear off his hips and stepped out of them. 

“Your turn,” he ordered.

Dean lifted his hips where he lay and shimmied out of his pants and boxers, leaving them both completely bare to each other.

“There. That’s better,” Cas said, low and rough, as he approached the bed with heat in his eyes.

Cas settled on his belly down between Dean’s legs like he was sitting down to dinner. Over the next hour, he drove Dean further and further to the point of madness. In reality it may have only been a few minutes, but Dean had turned into a whimpering mess in front of him and he really couldn’t be sure he hadn’t died at some point and this was his Heaven.

Finally satisfied that Dean was ready, Cas rose up on his knees and took himself in hand, covering his cock in lube. Dean forced himself to relax when Cas pushed into him slowly and steadily until he was as far inside Dean as he could be. They both took a few breaths to calm themselves while Dean got used to the sensation of being completely filled for the first time in years. 

Castiel lowered his body over Dean until they were finally face to face.

“Are you okay? Let me know if I’m doing anything wrong. I don’t want to hurt you,” Cas whispered.

When Dean smiled at him, a wave of affection spread through Cas’ veins. “No, Cas, I’m pretty fucking fantastic. But I need you to move Angel.” To prove his point, Dean spread his legs even further apart and cupped Cas’ ass with both hands to pull him in even deeper. “I need you to _fuck_ me Cas.”

And fuck him he did. Cas started slow, pulling almost all the way out to pull at Dean’s rim before thrusting forward in one swift movement. As their pace increased, Dean wrapped his legs around Cas’ waist and let his hands roam over the muscles in Cas’ back. Cas found a spot of salty skin on Dean’s neck that he latched onto with eagerness. 

Cas pulled his mouth away from Dean’s neck, skimming over his jawline, before finally finding Dean’s waiting lips. With so much sensation pushing him closer to the edge, Dean let a moan escape as their tongues played against each other. Then, breaking the kiss, Cas looked down over him with a smile.

“See, just like riding a bike,” Cas joked, out of breath.

“Well, then I’m gonna need you to pedal faster Cas,” Dean urged desperately.

Castiel huffed a laugh. “Figures you’d be a bossy bottom.” He pulled out, causing a whimper from Dean. Without another word, he stood up and walked around to the foot of the bed, grabbed Dean by his calves, and yanked him down until his ass was just at the edge of the mattress. He threw both of Dean’s legs up on his shoulders, and, using his tight grip on his thighs as leverage, Castiel slammed back into him. 

“Ah, fuck!” Dean screamed, his head thrown back in a swirl of pleasure and just the right amount of pain. “Oh, god, that’s it, Angel. Fuck me just like that!”

Dean could only hold on as Cas set a quick but hypnotizing rhythm. Their position meant Cas’ cock hit Dean’s prostate perfectly with each thrust. 

Cas stood over him, his face flushed and his mouth open panting as he worked Dean over. Then Cas brought one of Dean’s legs up to his mouth, and bit down on the inner side of his ankle. Dean screamed out at the sensation and Cas felt him tighten even more around his cock. He knew he wouldn’t last much longer.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!. Cas! Cas touch me! I need your hands on me! Please, baby, make me come,” Dean begged.

Cas grunted and pushed Dean’s legs up toward his torso, stretching his hips even wider. He slowed his pace to grind into Dean even deeper, making little figure eights with his hips. He leaned forward to grab Dean’s hands and bring them down under Dean’s knees.

“Hold on right here and don’t let go,” Cas growled.

Dean’s eyes widened as he held on for dear life as Cas fucked him hard and fast. His fingers wrapped around Dean’s cock where it bounced on his belly, rock hard, and jerked him at a pace that matched his thrusts. 

“Oh fuck Cas! Cas, please don’t stop! Please, please, please,” Dean begged incoherently. “Oh fuck, I’m coming, Cas! Please don’t stop!” Dean screamed as his orgasm shot through him, hot ropes landing on his chest, one after the other, until he was completely spent.

“Ungh, fuck I can feel you squeezing me! Oh my fucking god, you feel so good! You’re so fucking tight!” Castiel growled, his eyes rolling back in pleasure. Finding his last bit of strength, Cas fucked him even harder as he chased his own release. Suddenly, his pace stammered. Cas bent forward, and ran his tongue over Dean’s torso, lapping up Dean’s fresh cum while emptying himself inside him. 

Castiel landed on his back next to Dean and let his breathing settle down. Next to him, Dean, still down towards the edge of the mattress, turned his head so that his face brushed against Cas’ rib cage, inhaling deeply and leaving quick kisses over Cas’ skin

After a quick clean up, Castiel got them settled under the sheets facing each other. Dean burrowed in closer, tangling their legs around each other.

“Will you stay over here in this bed? You’re warm,” he mumbled, half asleep already. 

“Of course,” Cas whispered. “I’d rather be over here anyway.”

“Good. You should stop being so nice to me Cas. You’re gonna make me like you too much. It’d be easy to fall for a guy like you,” Dean whispered.

While Dean was asleep in minutes, Castiel lay there studying the freckles sprinkled over Dean’s nose, spreading over his cheek in an untraceable pattern. He couldn’t explain the weird feeling in his chest. They’d just had sex. Amazing, dirty sex. The kind you think about later when you’re all alone with just your hand and your imagination. All of the filthy words and the mind blowing orgasm. But this. Laying together, falling asleep on the same pillow, feet tangled up in the sheets. Dean's hand resting over Cas’ hip. This felt so much more intimate. 

✵✵✵✵

Castiel woke the next morning warm and surprisingly energized, considering the activities of the previous night. His mind was immediately flooded with the memory of warm skin, lips that begged to be kissed, and sounds he would remember forever. Castiel couldn’t remember the last time he felt so confident during sex. He and Ishim had been together for years and Castiel rarely took charge in bed and Ishim rarely showed much enthusiasm when he did. Clearly something was missing between them considering how it ended. Castiel realized he was alone in bed since he could hear the shower running in the bathroom. He rolled onto his back and pulled his body into a long slow stretch. A few minutes later, he hadn’t moved when Dean came out of the bathroom fully dressed. Cas sat up and Dean froze. Dean’s eyes quickly dropped to the floor as he muttered, “Uh, hey.” Dean made his way to the little sofa to pull his shoes on. He seemed to be making it a point to avoid eye contact.

Castiel could recognize the red flags. Dean’s movements were quick and purposeful. “Good morning Dean,” Castiel replied. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just wanted to go down and find some coffee and breakfast. Didn’t want to wake you.” Dean stood and grabbed his phone and a room key off the desk. He still wouldn’t look at Cas. 

“You don’t seem fine. Is this about last night?” 

With his back to Cas, Dean’s head dropped with a loud sigh. 

“I know it’s too late now, but I don’t think what happened was a good idea Cas. I feel like I took advantage of you. Again. You’re already doing all of this to help me, and I keep complicating it. Last night was a mistake.”

Castiel pushed away the familiar emotions of rejection, desperate to fix this. Slowly, Castiel pulled the sheets away from him and stood up. He didn’t like having to have this conversation in only his underwear, but he wasn’t about to ask Dean to wait until he got dressed. He kept his voice steady.

“Dean. I was fully on board last night. You didn’t take advantage of anything I wasn’t willing to give. I don’t want you feeling like that. We agreed last night we were just getting it out of our system. Just blowing off steam. And that’s okay. It doesn’t need to complicate things.” 

Dean didn’t turn around. Nodding, he muttered, “Yeah. Okay. That’s um...good. We can both agree it didn’t mean anything.” He slid the key card in his back pocket and turned around, still not looking Cas in the eye. 

“I’m gonna head down and find some food. I’ll see you in a bit and we can head over to the convention center and get checked in.”

Castiel stood in the middle of the room in his boxers as the door shut behind Dean, leaving him alone. He knew he was lying to Dean. And to himself. Of course things were complicated. And it wasn’t Dean’s fault. He’d been clear about not wanting any kind of a relationship with anyone. That didn’t keep memories of two years ago from flooding his mind. Ishim had called their entire relationship a mistake before he walked out. And they had been together for years. They were planning a wedding and a life. Hearing Dean repeat those words hurt just as much. That realization terrified him. This was why he had refused to get close to anyone in the last two years. He had successfully built up a wall to protect himself from getting hurt again and Dean had slowly started dismantling it. The problem was that Dean, it seemed, also hid behind his own protective stone wall. Castiel thought back to what Sam had told him the day before. Dean was always waiting for the shoe to drop, to lose the thing he cared about. He was scared. 

The truth was that they were both scared to trust anyone and give themselves over to the possibility of having something good. Maybe “complicated” was all they could manage. Castiel finally dragged himself to the bathroom and went through his morning routine on autopilot. Despite the crushing feeling in his chest, he still intended to keep his promise to Dean. Today was the day they had worked months for. He still didn’t want to let him down.

✵✵✵✵

Hours later, Castiel and Dean stood against opposing walls in the small space set aside for performers backstage. They mirrored each other, eyes cast down and arms crossed in front of them. They were next to perform and Castiel was panicking inside his head. What was he thinking? Agreeing to go out on stage in nothing but these tiny shorts and try to not make a fool out of himself. What if he fell on his ass? What if he humiliated Dean and he never wanted to see him again and all of this was over in the next five minutes. 

“Cas?” 

Castiel looked up at Dean but didn’t say a word. They had barely spoken since that morning. Whatever words they shared had been short and concise. Dean didn’t look at him. Focusing on the ground, Dean spoke quietly.

“I just,” he stammered. “Whatever happens out there, thanks. I wouldn’t be here at all if it weren’t for you so just, thanks.”

Dean chewed on his bottom lip and glanced up slightly at Castiel. Castiel nodded and opened his mouth to answer him just as a stage assistant in a headset approached them.

“Dean and Castiel? You’re all set. You can take your places on the stage, please.”

Castiel’s eyes went wide. Dean stepped up to him, inches from his face. 

“Hey. It’s gonna be okay. Take a deep breath.”

Castiel inhaled and pursed his lips to slowly blow it out.

“Good. We got this.”

✵✵✵✵

It turned out that Dean was right. Castiel still couldn’t believe it himself, but they had this. Perhaps luck was on their side because a lot of the other teams made errors that the judges took off points for. But Dean and Castiel nailed every trick in their routine. And hours later, they had the trophy to prove it. Dean’s face had been radiant in pride ever since the winners were announced at the closing ceremony. Dean, Castiel and their little cheering squad gathered outside in the parking lot, ready to split up for the three hour ride back to Austin. Their precious trophy found a spot on Baby’s front seat.

Though happy, Castiel felt the exhaustion of the weekend settle in. So much had happened in only two days and Castiel found himself ready to be home and in his own space. While winning had put them in better moods, there was still a weird tension between Dean and him. Castiel didn’t think he could sit in a car with him for three hours.

Clearing his throat, Castiel picked his bag up and gestured toward Charlie’s Beetle. “Hey Charlie, why don’t I ride back with you guys this time?”

“Um, yeah totally! Throw your stuff in the back,” Charlie said with a friendly smile. 

From where he stood, Cas could see Dean’s face fall.

“Are you sure Cas? Your spot’s still open in the front seat,” Dean said with a frown.

“Yeah. I’m sure,” Cas replied shrugging his shoulders. “I rode up with you guys. Figure I’ll go back with the girls. And now you’ll have more space for the trophy,” he added, trying to keep his face from betraying him. “I’ll see you in a few days Dean.”

For the next three hours, the flat landscape soared past them as they cruised down I-35. Castiel watched it go by, replaying the events of the weekend in his mind. He didn’t say much and he was grateful that Charlie had picked up on his need for space, only glancing back at him a few times from the rear view mirror with a barely there sympathetic smile.


	6. Bloodstream

> ♪ _Wake up and look me in the eye again_
> 
> _I need to feel your hands upon my face_
> 
> _Words can be like knives_
> 
> _They can cut you open_
> 
> _And then the silence surrounds you,_
> 
> _And haunts you_

**Dean**

It had been a long time since Dean had called in sick. Years, in fact. Yes, he felt guilty for leaving Bobby short for the day, even though he knew they didn’t have a lot on the books. But damn it he’d surely earned one day to play hooky. Bobby agreed and told him to get back to bed and enjoy his time off, and that he wanted to hear details about the weekend in Dallas when he got in the next day. Dean only grunted his thanks and rolled back over, pulling the sheets up over his head to block out the unwelcome light. 

He knew he should be excited. They had done it. They actually fucking won and were heading to nationals in San Diego. But every other minute he was awake he was reminded of those blue eyes staring back at him, clouded in a thinly veiled sadness ever since they woke up and Dean opened his stupid mouth yesterday morning. So if he could escape his traitorous memory by sleeping the day away, that’s what he was gonna do. 

An insistent pounding woke him sometime around noon. He squinted at his phone screen indicating three missed calls and six messages, all from Charlie. He only had one guess as to who it was knocking at his door when he would normally be at work. He dragged himself out of bed and went straight to the door, not even bothering to put pants on. One quick check through the peephole confirmed his suspicions and he pulled the door open for his best friend, and leaned against the door frame. 

“Oh good, you’re here,” Dean said rolling his eyes. “And let me guess. You being here probably means you know everything that happened this weekend.”

“Well not everything. Cas filled me in on what happened when I dropped him off last night. I didn’t ask for all the dirty details. But I know enough. And I wish I was here to celebrate my BFF finally breaking his vow of celibacy. But I’m not. I’m here because you are officially a dumbass. When you didn’t answer any of my messages, I called the shop and Bobby said you stayed home today, so I knew where to find you.”

Charlie swept past him, going straight for the kitchen and the coffee maker. She always added a few more spoonfuls of coffee grounds than were strictly necessary, but Dean wasn’t about to correct her when she was already here to chew him out.

Dean followed obediently and sat himself on one of the bar stools overlooking the little kitchen.

“Charlie, believe me, I’ve already gone over this in my head a hundred times in the last twenty-four hours. I know it was stupid. The guy is already helping me for no reason other than he’s just a good human being who took pity on me. I know we were supposed to keep it professional. That’s what we agreed on the last time; dance partners and nothing else. And I went and screwed it all up by getting drunk and taking advantage of the situation. Sex always complicates things, and now I’m sure he’s regretting signing up for this whole thing to begin with.”

Charlie stood on the other side of the counter watching him with a blank expression on her face. But because she’s still Charlie and Dean’s best friend, she fixed his coffee for him just the way he prefers and set it in front of him, before pinning him with a stare that suggested he better pay attention.

“Before we get into this weekend, back up a minute. What do you mean you agreed on this the last time? I thought this was the first time? What am I missing? How is it that neither of you mentioned a last time?” Charlie’s voice gradually increased in pitch until she had to stop and take a breath.

“We...I- something might have happened a couple of months ago. One night at the studio. Please don’t tell Pam. It wasn’t a big deal. And we agreed that it was a one time thing and we were cool. And we were. Until this weekend. And I knew it was a bad idea for us to share a room. I knew that. I should have gotten my own room. I should have kept my hands to myself, but I didn’t because I’m a dumbass with a crush.”

“Okay, I’m going to stop you right there. You’re not a dumbass because you guys had sex. I think that part was inevitable.”

“What? How was it inevitable?” 

“Um, hello. I have eyes,” she answered pointing to her own face. “You started texting me for info as soon as I sat next to him at the showcase. The crush is nothing new. I’m talking about what happened after the sex. Your little pillow talk confession where you told him it would be easy to fall for him, followed by your big panic the next morning where you called the entire thing a big mistake, and basically giving him the silent treatment for the rest of the weekend. Kind of a dick move. Especially considering all the shit his ex put him through.”

Dean’s mug was almost to his lips for his first sip of caffeine when he froze. He set the mug back down with a thunk. _What had he done_? 

“What are you talking about? What shit about his ex? And how do you know all this?”

“Um, I know about these things because I talk to him. I ask him things about his life. And he tells me. Sorry Dean. You’re not my only BFF anymore. You two are gonna have to share me,” she said, shrugging. “Anyway, the gist of it is that he and his ex were engaged. They were supposed to open the bookstore together, but then Cas found out the guy cheated. The douchebag told him he had made a mistake asking Cas to marry him. Cas was left trying to open the store by himself. That’s why his brother stepped in to help run the place.”

Dean dropped his head in his hands. _Fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck._ He really was a dumbass. And an asshole. No wonder Cas couldn’t stand to ride in the same car with him last night. He wouldn’t have blamed Cas for blowing the entire competition. But he hadn’t. Even after all the hurtful shit Dean said, Cas still gave everything he had on that stage and got them the win. He was definitely a better person than Dean. The longer he sat, watching his coffee grow cold, the more convinced he became that Castiel was someone he always wanted by his side, in whatever capacity Cas would allow. Of course, that’s when that little nagging voice in his head whispered, _You don’t deserve him. You never will._

“Dean, I know you’ve had a lot of bad shit in your life. And you blame yourself for it, even though it all happened to you and not because of you. And if you want this whole thing with Cas to just be a one time drunken roll in the hay, then that’s fine, and I won’t push my opinions anymore about it.”

“Really?” Dean asked, skeptically.

“I’ll try anyway. It’s the thought that counts. Just let me say this once and I’ll let it go if that’s what you really want. There is the potential for something really great here. But if you don’t try and fix your mistakes about how you acted, then you will lose it. And that one will be your fault.”

“Okay, Obi Wan. How exactly do you suggest I fix this?”

“Well, young Padawan, there’s the scary part. You have to talk to him. It sounds like you’ve been giving him some pretty mixed signals. I think an apology is a good place to start.”

Dean rolled his eyes but nodded in agreement anyway. 

“Good. Now that we have all that out of the way,” Charlie paused, bouncing her eyebrows excitedly. “How was it? Like I said, I don’t need all the dirty details, but it is a big deal and I’m excited for you.”

Charlie could always make him smile. Even when she was calling him out on his bullshit. 

“You want the Cliff’s Notes of it? I had no idea such an awkward dude with no natural rhythm could turn into a feral sex god in the sack. I mean, it was just supposed to be quick drunk fuck, not the best fucking sex of my life.”

“Wow,” Charlie chuckled, her eyes wide. “Go Cas.”

✵✵✵✵

Two hours later, Dean was fed, showered, and dressed as he stepped through the door of Angel’s Books for the first time. The warm lighting mixed with the scent of coffee, ink, and worn in leather furniture. It was inviting, comforting, and somehow invigorating at the same time. _A lot like Cas._ Dean’s life didn’t leave a lot of time for reading, but Dean knew he could get lost in here for days if he ever had the time. 

There was no one currently at the front register, but Dean’s eyes caught movement in the back when a man slid a tray of pastries onto the shelf inside a case. Making his way to the back toward the makeshift cafe, he cleared his throat, causing the shorter, sandy blonde man to jump in surprise.

“Sorry, dude. Didn't mean to startle you,” Dean offered with a smile. “Um, I was wondering if Cas was here. I kinda need to talk to him about something.”

The man closed the back of the case and studied Dean for a moment with a neutral expression before his mouth pulled up into a lopsided grin.

“So, you must be Dean, huh? I get it now,” Gabriel said bouncing an eyebrow. 

“What does that mean? And I’m assuming you’re Gabriel?” Dean asked.

“Nevermind. And yes. Gabriel Novak, how do you do? I’m Cassie’s big brother.”

They stood on opposite sides of the pastry counter, sizing each other up for a moment, before a shrill giggle pulled their focus. Dean’s eye found Cas kneeling on the wood floor in front of the register. A little girl stood in front of him; she couldn’t have been older than five. From where they stood, he couldn’t hear what Cas was saying, but it had her laughing hysterically, her brown pigtail braids bouncing off her shoulders and her big brown eyes lit up in joy. 

“Other people can see you making that face, you know,” Gabriel said, startling Dean from only a few inches away now. How long had that shifty little fucker been standing next to him? 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Dean argued, quickly shifting his face into a neutral expression, but unable to hide the traitorous flush in his cheeks from being caught staring. 

“Sure, whatever. Look, I’m all for this whole dance thing if that’s what you came in here for. Cassie needed something to light a fire under his ass. But if anything else is going on,” he said, tilting his head down a bit, but maintaining eye contact. “Just be careful with him. He’s been hurt before. He’s been lead on and lied to, and it really messed him up. He built up walls around him to keep from getting close to people. So, if you have any other intentions, other than dancing together, which I’m guessing you might from the heart eyes I just saw, just be careful with him. Oh! And if you hurt him, I’ll kill you.”

Dean laughed at Gabriel’s big brother threat, but his smile quickly fell when Gabriel only looked back with not an ounce of humor in his eyes. Being a big brother himself, he knew Gabriel was serious. He was annoying and a little intrusive, but he clearly had his brother’s best interest in mind, and Dean couldn’t help but respect that.

“Yeah. I hear ya,” he said nodding back at Gabriel.

“Dean?” 

Dean whipped his head back around to find Castiel standing in front of him with wide scared eyes. 

“Dean, what are you doing here?” 

Dean had practiced in his head what he would say to Cas when he found him, but now the words escaped him. He was frozen looking back, his mouth hanging open and blinking rapidly like an idiot. He took a deep breath and hoped for the best.

“Um, Cas, can I talk to you for a minute? In private?”

Castiel tilted his head and squinted at him. “Alright.” He spun on his heels and headed for the aisles, which were empty now. A moment later, Dean found themselves in a secluded corner of the store, away from any prying eyes and ears of well meaning brothers. Cas straightened his back and crossed his arms in front of him, waiting, expresion guardaded and flat.

“Okay, here it is,” Dean started, shaking his head and looking down at the dark wood floors. “Cas, I’m sorry about this weekend. I acted like a dick, and you didn’t deserve that.”

“Which part?”

“I didn’t mean to take advantage of you. I take responsibility for Saturday night, what I said the next morning was wrong. I didn’t mean it when I said it was a mistake. But I was scared. Scared that I was getting too comfortable and letting you get too close. Because when anything good comes my way, I find a way to fuck it up. And you’ve become one of my best friends in all this, and I don’t want to lose that. So I pushed you away. Now, I just realize I was an asshole.”

Castiel chewed on his bottom lip, and nodded at him. The coldness in his eyes melted away a little bit. 

“Thank you, Dean. I appreciate that. But Saturday night wasn’t just your responsibility. I was a willing participant too.” “Very willing,” he added, his voice dropping lower. “And for what it’s worth? I don’t regret it.”

They stood there, alone in the corner of the poetry section, refusing to look away. And dammit, Dean could feel it. That pull. That stupid itch that made him want to push Cas against the stack of books, tangle his hands in his hair and stick his tongue down the guy’s throat. 

But he didn’t. As much as he wanted to, he kept his distance, staring at each other until a kid running past them made them jump. With the moment officially broken, Dean found he could breathe once again.

“That being said, I think it’s for the best that we not let it happen again,” Cas said with a sadness in his deep voice. “It seems to only keep complicating things between us. And we’ve both worked too hard for anything to distract us now. We only have two months until Nationals now, so I think we should just put this behind us and just focus on what’s important. The competition.” 

“Yeah,” Dean said, clearing his throat. “Yeah, you’re...you’re right. That’s what’s important.” Dean’s hands fidgeted by his sides, restless for some reason. He ducked his head down, unable to look Cas in the eye anymore. “Thanks Cas.” He looked around behind him awkwardly. “I guess I should go and let you get back to work. I’ll see you in practice.”

He left the bookstore and made it back to the safety of the Impala. He said what he needed to say and Castiel forgave him. They agreed to act like adults and move past everything that, at one point, threatened to destroy all they had already accomplished. Dean should feel better. So why didn’t he? Why was his fear replaced by a sense of loss. The feeling that he lost something before he ever really had it. He rubbed his hands over his face, rough from two days of stubble. Gritting his teeth, he cranked the engine and pulled away, ready to be back in his bed.

✵✵✵✵

**Castiel**

Castiel stood alone in the corner of his store long after the bell rang, indicating that Dean was gone. He was grateful for Dean’s words. Hearing that Dean didn’t actually think their night together was a mistake was like a balm over his bruised pride. But he meant what he said. He had to protect himself from being hurt again. If that meant keeping Dean at a distance while they were still working together, then so be it. His mind knew that Dean was nothing like Ishim. That didn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt any less if he were to let himself be pulled once again into Dean’s gravitational force and charm. In fact, it might be even worse. So, Castiel stood his ground. He was proud of himself. So, why didn’t he feel better?

He blew out a deep breath and ran his hands through his wild hair. Readying himself, he stepped back out into the main space. As expected, his brother was leaning back against the front desk, waiting to pounce.

“So, what exactly happened this weekend for McDreamy to come in here looking like a kicked puppy? Does it have anything to do with you moping around here all morning despite the fact you actually won the thing?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about Gabriel,” Castiel replied, rolling his eyes. “And if something happened this weekend, you’d be the last person I’d tell.”

“Ouch, that stings bro. But your reluctance tells me there’s more to the story and I’m guessing it means you and Romeo did a little dirty dancing between the sheets. Which, congrats, it’s about time Stella got her groove back. Makes me wonder, though, why you both look so miserable about it. Was it that bad?”

Castiel hesitated, refusing to look his brother in the eye. “No, it wasn’t bad,” he mumbled. “Actually it was,...the best sex of my life.” 

“Oh! Alright Cassie!" Gabriel whooped. Then, he paused and tilted his head to the side in confusion. "So then what’s wrong if it was so life altering?”

“Because it was a mistake. A stupid, drunk mistake, and now things are going to be weird.”

Gabriel frowned at him. “Who said it was a mistake?”

“He did. But he was right,” Castiel replied quietly. “We’re working together. And I shouldn’t have let it get so out of hand. It was irresponsible, and we can’t let it happen again for the sake of the competition.”

Gabriel’s face went neutral. He just studied Castiel for a minute before he finally spoke again.

“You’re falling for him, aren’t you?” 

Castiel looked up at his brother, expecting to find him teasing, but instead was met with sympathetic eyes.

“Yeah,” Castiel whispered. 

Nodding his head, Gabriel twisted his mouth to one side and inhaled deeply through his nose. “Well Cassie, the way I see it, you’ve got two options. Option one, keep doing what you’re doing. You both keep dancing around each other, literally and figuratively. You don’t say a word, stay “just friends” and stay miserable about it.”

“I’m afraid to ask, but what’s option two?”

“Option two is where you pull on your big girl panties, and talk to him. Tell him what’s going on in that big head of yours. I’m not saying to declare your forever and undying love for the guy. But anything’s better than nothing. Hell, just ask the guy out. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Castiel wished he was brave enough to go for option two. To put everything on the line and tell Dean how he felt. What was the worst that could happen? Of course, he knew exactly what could happen. Dean could look at him with disdain and tell him he would never feel the same. Dean could tell him he’d complicated the situation beyond repair and ask him to leave and never set foot in Lazarus Rising again. Without another word, Castiel ducked his head and made his way back to the tiny office. He plopped down in his chair, rubbed his eyes, and tipped his head back to stare at the ceiling. The longer he sat there, he could feel with figments of an idea forming in his mind. A third option. One that mixed the first two.He could keep his head up and keep his mouth shut. For now. He knew it was too risky to do anything while they were still getting ready for Nationals. But this whole partnership started because he wanted to get out of his comfort zone and do something that scared him. So, he would wait. After the National competition was finally over, he would do it. He would ask Dean Winchester on a real, honest to God, date. 

Two days later, Castiel pulled into a spot in front of Lazarus Rising but couldn’t find the nerve to get out. Movement from inside the brightly lit coffee shop next door caught his attention. He did a double take when he realized it was Dean. But not just Dean. Dean and Lisa. They sat across from each other at one of the tiny tables close to the window. Dean’s posture was open and inviting as they spoke. He had a peacefulness about him. His eyes were warm and his smile was soft, but still exuded his signature charm. Whatever he was saying had Lisa enraptured and leaning in closer to him. From the angle, Cas couldn’t see her whole face, but he could tell her smile matched his. Anyone could see how comfortable they were around each other. Cas couldn’t help the pang of jealousy blooming in his chest when Lisa reached across the table to give Dean’s hand a gentle squeeze. Dean ducked his head, his cheeks blushing so badly, Castiel could see it from where he sat in his car. 

That’s when Castiel noticed that Lisa’s injuries had healed. She wasn’t wearing the sling over her arm like she had been when she stopped by the studio a few times to chat with Pam. Her accident was months ago, so she would probably be released to start training again soon. And that’s when it hit Cas like a punch to the gut. Once she could practice again, Dean wouldn’t need him anymore.

Nationals were only two months away. After that, Lisa could once again take up her rightful place as Dean’s partner. After all, Cas had only been a stand in. A placeholder. He was suddenly reminded of the night he and Ishim broke up, when Ishim had called him a slightly better alternative than nothing at all. Soon, Castiel would go back to his simple but lonely life before Lazarus Rising. Before Dean.

Twenty minutes later, he was changed and sitting on the polished wood floor. Dean sat a few feet away. They’d politely greeted each other, but there was a tension in the air. Right now, it seemed to come from Pam who stood over them with a raised brow and a stack of papers in her hand.

“So, congratulations. You boys made it through. Proud of ya. Thought I’d go over your scores with you,” Pam said, eyeing them both. “You scored high on execution and difficulty. That’s what saved you, because you barely beat the next team when it came to stage presence. Would you like to hear the judges’ comments?”

From where they sat on the floor, neither Dean or Cas looked up in response. “Sure,” Dean uttered. “Why not?”

“Love the enthusiasm, Dean,” Pam quipped. “Let’s see, the first judge said it was a refreshing change to see a male duo team. Excellent technique and execution on tricks. Another judge, a dance instructor named Rowena, commented that the routine would be perfect, but there seems to be a disconnect between the dancers. Like watching two strangers in an otherwise flawless routine. And finally the guest judge, Chuck Shurley. The only thing he wrote was, ‘not bad’.”

“Chuck Shurley, the writer? He’s written novels, and all he has to say is “not bad’?”

“Must not be a very good writer,” Dean mumbled under his breath.

“Be that as it may, I have to agree with Rowena McLeod. I’ve seen you boys rehearse for months. But Sunday, something was definitely different. I don’t know what happened between you two, but you need to fix it so we can get to work. We have eight weeks until nationals in San Diego. We have to develop a whole new routine. So, boys. We’ve got work to do.”

> ♪ _I think I might have inhaled you_
> 
> _I can feel you behind my eyes_
> 
> _You’ve gotten into my bloodstream_
> 
> _I can feel you flowing in me_

  
  


  
  



	7. What Would It Take

> ♪ _What words can I say?_
> 
> _Tell me, what can I do?_
> 
> _And all that I am_
> 
> _Well, I’ll give it to you_

One thing Dean and Castiel were definitely good at was putting aside their personal shit and focusing on the work that needed to be done. That didn’t mean the weeks that followed were perfect. Castiel felt more invested this time, so he made his opinions heard when it came to choosing music and which pole tricks they wanted to show off to the judges. He’d felt particularly smug when their song was decided in a rousing game of Rock Paper Scissors. 

“That’s gonna be so cheesy though,” Dean whined as they listened to the familiar song.

“Cheesy is okay Dean. People like cheese. As long as it’s memorable cheese that stands out from the rest. Just trust me on this one.”

All Dean did was roll his eyes and grumble quietly to himself.

Castiel suspected Dean’s pouting was all for show since he quickly fell right into the choreography, showing as much excitement for their new plan as Castiel had when he suggested it in the first place. 

A week later, when the argument came up about changing their normal black shorts to something a little flashier, Dean put his foot down. 

“This is a serious competition Cas. This isn’t Cirque Du Soleil or Bozangas’s Gentlemen’s Lounge. I’m not wearing anything with sequins or glitter,” Dean barked.

From the front of the studio, Pam and Charlie stood at the desk, closing out the day’s schedule. 

“Jeez, are they bickering again?” Charlie asked.

Pam just looked up and grinned. “Yep. Just like an old married couple.”

✵✵✵✵

Summer moved along. For Castiel that meant a slightly slower pace at the bookstore since the college crowd was gone for the season. He didn’t mind it. Especially when Dean started dropping by every other morning hoping to score one of Gabriel’s hand pies for breakfast. After the third visit, Castiel had begged Gabriel to always have a fresh batch of them ready in the pastry case. 

He and Gabriel happily accepted an invitation to the annual Winchester Fourth of July party, held on Bobby’s property on the northwest side of town. Meeting Bobby was like meeting a teddy bear wrapped in grizzly bear packaging and it was easy to see why Sam and Dean looked up to him the way they did. He’d only embarrassed himself once when he moaned obscenely as he bit into one of Dean’s famous cheeseburgers, only to look over and find Dean staring at him, fighting back a laugh.

Castiel was reaching into an ice chest for a beer when a voice startled him from behind.

“Would you mind grabbing me one of those,” Lisa asked, smiling.

“Oh, hey Lisa. I didn’t know you were coming today. Yeah, here you go,” Castiel replied, handing her a bottle before reaching back in for another. 

“Yeah, Ben and I just got here. We had a late start, but at least we made it before the fireworks.”

“Well, you look like you’re healing up well. I’ve seen you come into the studio a few times already. All back to normal?”

“I’m not quite a hundred percent yet, but I’m starting back slow with training. Maybe I’ll be able to come with you guys for next year’s regionals.”

Castiel frowned a bit in confusion. “Won’t you be working with Dean again by then?”

Lisa huffed a laugh. “Why would I? I mean, I’ll step back in if I need to of course. But it’s pretty clear that Dean already has the partner that he wants. At least something good came out of my accident. You know he and I had coffee at The Last Drop a few weeks ago? Right after y'all came back from Dallas.”

“Uh, Yeah. I think I saw you guys in there,” Castiel replied nonchalantly. “I was on my way in for practice. I don’t know what you were talking about but Dean looked really excited about something.”

“Yeah, well. Maybe that’s because he wouldn’t stop talking about you,” she said with an arched brow and a grin before walking away to join their friends around Bobby’s fire pit. 

✵✵✵✵

Despite their day jobs and heavy rehearsing schedule, everything was put on pause two weeks before the national competition. This particular weekend was dedicated to Charlie and Dorothy. The couple had planned their wedding just right so that they could spend their honeymoon in San Diego during Comic Con weekend. After the convention they were renting a car and driving up the coast for a few days, before returning to meet up with everyone at the competition.

Charlie and Dorothy’s wedding was being held at a venue called Camp Lucy. It was a sprawling property nestled in the Texas Hill Country just west of Austin. The ceremony and dinner reception were being held outdoors under a canopy of oak trees that sparkled with a thousand lights. The aisle was lined with two foot tall weathered stone pillars. At the entrance, there was an easel holding a white linen scroll bordered by silver lightsabers. In bold letters the scroll read “We are all equal. Sit or sit not, there are no sides in this family.” Cas followed Sam and Jess down to the second row and took their seats, giggling when he saw the first chair was reserved for D.W., Leader of the Rebel Alliance. Of course Charlie would have a Star Wars wedding. 

Looking around, Castiel watched as the rows filled up with family and friends, most of whom he didn’t recognize. He nodded his head and smiled at Alfie, the kid who ran the Last Drop who picked a spot about midway on the opposite side. He turned back around to look down at the people sitting next to him. Sam and Jess were to his right, followed by Pam. To his left, the empty seat reserved for Dean. For a brief moment, he choked back the emotion he felt, sitting here at the front to support Charlie, who had included him to help represent her family. 

His attention was pulled back to his surroundings when music began to fill the air. A soft but familiar melody, strummed on an acoustic guitar, made him smile. The Star Wars theme song, of course. Dorothy took her place at the front of the aisle, accompanied by the officiant. The officiant made a motion with his hand for everyone to rise. When Cas stood and turned, he couldn’t help the tears that filled his eyes. Charlie was radiant. Her Grecian style gown fit her petite frame perfectly and her hair was swept into a loose and wild braid. She looked directly ahead, her bright eyes fixed on her fiancee. Dean walked proudly next to her. His suit was casual but polished. He didn’t wear a jacket, better to show off the heather grey vest, and crisp white shirt tucked into dress pants. His sleeves were carefully rolled up leaving his arms bare. His hair was neatly styled and there was just a hint of stubble along his jawline. If he looked up the word handsome in a dictionary, Castiel wouldn’t be surprised to find a picture of Dean next to the definition. 

As they came down the aisle, Dean’s eye caught his. His big proud smile transformed into something different. Something softer. Something only meant for Castiel. He winked at Castiel as they passed the front row. Once they reached Dorothy and the officiant, Dean kissed Charlie on her cheek and squeezed her hand before turning to find his seat next to Castiel. He let out a deep breath and gave Cas a lopsided smile. 

“You look nice,” Dean whispered. 

Castiel knew he was blushing, and it had nothing to do with the Texas summer weather.

“Thanks. You too,” he replied. 

They finally looked away from each other when the officiant spoke. While Charlie recited her vows, Castiel glanced at Dean when he reached up to wipe away a rogue tear from his cheek and lay his hand back in his lap. He felt a little guilty, but he ended up paying more attention to watching Dean than to the actual ceremony in front of him.

In no time at all, the reception was in full swing. The buffet had been cleared. The cake had been cut. More than a few glasses of champagne had been consumed. Everyone had converged onto the dance floor. Their little motley crue all danced together as a unit rather than pairing off like others did. The good mood was infectious and Castiel couldn’t remember having fun like this in a long time. 

The up-beat pop song came to an end and the music transitioned to a slower ballad. Definitely a love song as the established couples found each other quickly and drifted off together. That left Dean and Castiel standing awkwardly in the midst of it all. After a moment’s hesitation, Dean extended his hand out to Castiel in offering. 

Castiel looked up at Dean with wide eyes and flushed cheeks, more than the champagne could be responsible for. 

“Come on Cas. Don’t make it weird. Just dance with me,” Dean said softly, his green eyes sparkling.

And so Castiel took Dean’s hand in his own. He stepped forward and curled his other arm around Dean’s shoulder as their bodies met. Dean splayed his free hand over Castiel’s back and held him close. While the music played neither of them spoke a word, but it sure felt like poetry as they moved together. Castiel kept his head down and inhaled deeply as his nose brushed over Dean’s neck while fighting the urge to leave kisses along his warm skin.

As the song rambled on, imploring over and over again what could be done to earn the love of another, Dean and Castiel grew more unaware of their audience which had migrated off the dance floor. Sam and Jess sat at a round table with Charlie and her new wife, Dorothy, all resting their feet and watched the scene in front of them. 

Sam nudged Charlie's arm and gestured to the dance floor. “Why do they keep fighting it?” 

Charlie sighed and answered, “Because they’re both stubborn and afraid of what could go wrong that they don’t see what’s right in front of their faces.” 

“So, a couple of dumbasses.”

“Pretty much. But they’ll get there.”

> _♪I could make you smile_
> 
> _Give you all your dreams_
> 
> _And I’d give you everything_
> 
> _To make you love me_

  
  



	8. Fire Meet Gasoline

> _♪It’s dangerous to fall in love_
> 
> _But I want to burn with you tonight_
> 
> _Hurt me_

Thank God airplanes come equipped with tiny bottles of alcohol. That’s the main reason Dean got through the three hour flight from Austin to San Diego. Cas only teased him a little before offering to share an ear bud and tilting his laptop towards him. Dean spent the rest of the flight leaning in close to Cas and watching three classic episodes of Dr. Sexy MD that Cas had already downloaded for the trip. Before he knew it, they were touching down in southern California. 

Once again, Sam, Jess, and Pam traveled with them. The newlyweds, Charlie and Dorothy, would be meeting up with them this afternoon at their hotel. This time around, their supporters also included Gabriel and his girlfriend Kali, as well as Bobby and his wife Ellen. Everyone important in Dean’s life was here as a reminder that his family had his back. 

The entire crew pulled up to their hotel for the weekend in a line of Uber cars. It was already mid Friday afternoon. The competition, held in the hotel ballroom, was scheduled just like regionals. Today they would get checked in and registered with the competition officials. Tomorrow were the solo categories, followed by duos on Sunday. 

Dean and Castiel were not rooming together this weekend. They had agreed it was best this way. Well, technically it was Cas’ idea and Dean didn’t have the balls to suggest otherwise. If Cas needed his own space away from Dean, then that’s how it should be. So, room keys in hand, everyone dispersed with the understanding that everyone had the night to themselves to rest up from the trip. After dropping their bags off up stairs, Dean, Castiel and Pam made their way through long corridors to the hotel ballroom. People were milling around, eager to get an early look at the vendor tables, some from official brand companies selling logo merchandise and dance supplies, while others were offering more handmade items. After registering with the competition coordinator, a _very_ enthusiastic woman named Becky, Dean took a moment to peek into the ballroom. The massive space was set up with a stage on one end and filled with rows of chairs, which began with a long table clearly meant for the judges. Dean took a deep breath as butterflies fluttered around in his stomach. They were finally here. 

“Hey,” Cas said low and quiet, pulling him out of his thoughts with a hand on his shoulder. He hadn’t noticed Cas approaching, but now they stood inches apart. He took a moment to sweep his gaze over the room before looking back up ast Dean. “Pretty cool, huh? We made it, Dean,” he said with a radiant smile.

Castiel’s excitement made his blue eyes sparkle and Dean couldn’t look away. Not for the first time, he wished he could lean in and taste that smile. “Yeah. It’s pretty awesome,” he muttered, still staring at Cas’ mouth. 

“Pam took off with a few instructors she knows. And Charlie texted me to let us know she and Dorothy just got here. She was wondering if you wanted to join them for dinner. Apparently there’s a really good burger place down the street from here. You hungry?”

Dean’s stomach answered for him with a rumble. 

“Guess that’s a yes. Come on, they’re in the lobby,” Cas continued with a laugh.

✵✵✵✵

Several hours later, Dean stood under the spray of an almost scalding shower, letting the water pressure ease the muscles in his back after such a long day. Dinner had been a fun evening. A fun, confusing evening. Dean and Cas sat on one side of a large booth, while Charlie and Dorothy sat across them, recounting their honeymoon week. Comic Con had been a wild time apparently, resulting in matching Princess Leia tattoos for the couple. Dean simply leaned back, full and content, listening to details of their road trip and looking through Charlie’s camera roll. Picture after picture of them wearing matching ears at Disneyland, posing in front of the Golden Gate bridge, and standing over a sprawling view of a Sonoma vineyard. 

The pang in his chest he felt at wanting someone to share the world with was coupled with the distraction of Cas’s reaction to his bacon cheeseburger. “These make me very happy,” he’d mumbled after his first bite. No one should look that adorable while eating a cheeseburger. Of course the frankly pornographic noises he made while he enjoyed his meal went straight to Dean’s dick. He had heard those same noises months ago when Cas’ mouth was on him. Apparently Cas always made the same rumbling moan when he was really passionate about something. 

Despite his exhaustion, memories of that night flooded his mind before he could push them away, making his cock twitch in interest. He relaxed his head back to rinse the shampoo from his hair, enjoying the sensation of suds running over his heated skin. He took himself in hand, already half hard and filling up fast, and gave his cock a few strokes. It wasn’t the first time he’d gotten off thinking about Cas’ hands working him open, his tongue teasing his nipples, and his eyes blown open in desire as he sunk into Dean with a gentle confidence and slowly increased his intensity until Dean forgot his own name. Dean always had a few rotating fantasies he thought about when jerking off, but the rest of them had faded into the background since that night.

He pivoted so he could brace his forearm against the warm tile in front of him and picked up his speed as he fucked his fist. This would be quick and perfunctory, not like home when he took his time on his days off, slowly teasing himself and coming on the one toy he owned. His mind wandered back to that night on the studio floor, when Cas looked up at him with wild desperate eyes while Dean got him off, before turning around and swallowing him down. He chased his climax, squeezing his ass around the phantom feeling of Cas filling him up. Without further warning, his orgasm ripped through him, whiting his vision as he spilled over his hand. 

After rinsing away his mess, he quickly dried off, brushed his teeth, and pulled on clean boxers. Finally pulling down the crisp white linens and tacky duvet, he flopped onto his back, enjoying the coolness of the sheets. The anxious butterflies made a quick flight around his belly, reminding him that tomorrow he would be competing on a national stage. Luckily, his weariness won out as he pulled the sheets up around him. He was asleep in minutes. 

✵✵✵✵

He did it. His chest still heaving to catch his breath, he took a quick bow in the center of the stage and nodded to the judges table in front of him. He wouldn’t know the results for a few hours, but he knew he had nailed his routine. He felt like a million bucks listening to the crowd cheer for him, easily piecing out the voices of his family. 

Twenty minutes later he stepped back out to the main floor of the ballroom back in his jeans and black t-shirt adorned with the Lazarus Rising logo across his chest. The competition schedule allowed for multiple breaks in the programming, so most of the crowd was out in the hall or loitering in the ballroom talking with others. Dean scanned over the area where their group has been sitting, only finding Bobby and Ellen still in their seats, studying the paper program together. Not wanting to interrupt them, he turned for the door, figuring he’d find more of his people outside in the vendor’s area. Castiel was by the door, unaware that Dean was frozen where he stood. An attractive blonde man that Dean recognized from backstage currently had his hand on Cas’ shoulder. From where he stood, he watched as Cas smiled back at his new acquaintance and ducked his head, his face pink with blush. Something deep inside Dean’s chest burned and he forced himself to unclench his fists. 

When Cas looked up again, his eyes found Dean. His face transformed into something softer, a look Dean recognized as one reserved for him. Dean found his feet again and made his way over to the pair. Watching him approach, Cas held his hand up to interrupt the man and immediately wrapped his arms around Dean as soon as he was within reach, enveloping him in a tight hug that seemed to settle the discomfort in Dean’s chest. 

“Dean! You were perfect! I’m so proud of you,” Cas said before releasing him. 

Dean felt himself warm under the praise. “Thanks, man.”

When they stepped back from each other, Cas turned to acknowledge the man again.

“This is Balthazar. He went on right before you did. He’s actually been doing pole dance for _fifteen_ years and won nationals four years ago!”

The man smirked confidently back at Dean, clearly appraising him from head to toe. “Yes, Castiel here was telling me it’s your first time making it to the big stage. I was just suggesting you and he come out with me tonight. The other dancers always reserve a space somewhere for a party to blow off steam. Should be a good time. You should join us,” he said with an oily British accent.

“And I was informing him that we already had plans for the rest of the afternoon,” Cas interjected with a nod towards Dean. 

“Uh, yeah we were all going to see some of the sights while we’re here,” he informed Balthazar. “But Cas, don’t feel like you have to stay with us if you want to go to the party.”

Cas’ eyes went big and round, much like a puppy. “But we’re all going to the zoo this afternoon. And I still want to make it to the beach before it gets dark.”

That uncomfortable feeling in his chest disappeared completely. “Okay Cas. Just checking. Don’t you worry, then, I’ll make sure you see the giraffes and the Pacific sunset.”

The blinding smile he received was reward enough. 

“Alright then boys, you have fun tonight. And good luck tomorrow, hmm,” Balthazar said, backing away to go join his people out in the hallway.

✵✵✵✵

The golden California sunset found Dean with his ass in the sand feeling better than he had in years. Even though he wouldn’t be bringing home any prize money from the solo category, he knew third place was still something to be proud of, so he couldn’t find himself to be too upset. Everyone he cared about was here with him, enjoying the day. After the day’s results were announced, they all left the hotel and spent a few hours exploring the San Diego Zoo. Dean laughed to himself, remembering Cas running up to him in the gift shop holding up a T-shirt with two cartoon koalas clinging to a tree branch together, insisting they each get one. Dean had rolled his eyes in false irritation at the cheesy souvenir, before pulling out his wallet and paying for them both. A shriek caused him to look up to find Charlie and Jess ganging up on Cas and dunking him under the waves. Cas came up spitting out salt water and shaking his head before chasing them through the surf.

Next to him, his giant of a brother dropped onto his butt with a thunk. Nudging his arm in silent greeting, Sam squinted toward the water, smiling at the antics of his wife and their friends. 

“It’s good to see you happy, man,” Sam said, still not looking at him. “You deserve it. I’m proud of you. We all are. No matter what happens tomorrow, we'll still be proud.”

“Thanks, Sam.” He still wasn’t used to hearing so many people say that in such a short time frame. When Bobby told him he was proud, Dean had nearly started crying. 

They sat watching the waves, snickering when Bobby started snoring where he and Ellen were sprawled out in lounge chairs a few feet away. When Dean looked back out to find Cas, his mouth dropped at the sight of him, now encased by the glow of the fading sun behind him. He was alone, the girls having made their way back up to dry land. Cas stood waist deep, waves splashing over him, making his sun-kissed skin shine. He dropped his head back, highlighting the muscles in his neck and chest, and brought his hands up to run his fingers through his messy hair. When he brought his head back up, he opened his eyes, and immediately found Dean, giving him a smile that left Dean breathless.

“Ahem.” 

Dean blinked a few times and swallowed hard. _When did his mouth start watering?_

“Dean, if you start drooling, I’m never gonna let you hear the end of it,” Sam said with a teasing grin.

“Shut up, Sam,” Dean grunted, rolling his eyes and looking away to slyly wipe his mouth with the back of his hand, just in case.

Sam stayed silent for a minute, before he just had to open his mouth again.

“So, how long has that been going on,” Sam asked with a raised brow.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Sammy.”

“Yes you do,” Sam said softly. “You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”

Dean stared down at a spot in the sand and chewed on his lip. By the tone of Sam’s voice, he knew it wasn’t really a question.

“Yeah.”

It was the truth. He loved Cas. He couldn’t pinpoint exactly when it happened. More like it was such a gradual, organic thing that sprouted and grew and lived inside him now. 

“Does he know?” 

“No. And he doesn’t need to. Nothing good could come from that. He’s too good for someone like me, and I’d much rather keep him around as a friend than scare him off with something that big. Better this way.”

Sam was quiet. Looking down the beach and shaking his head.

“You know, it really pisses me off to hear you say things like about yourself. I mean, I get that it's scary to put yourself out there like that. But, Dean. You're the best person I know. You’re strong. You’re a fighter. You’ve always put others ahead of your own happiness, and now you’ve got it basically right in front of you, but you won’t try and fight for it. I honestly think you might be surprised what happens if you actually talk to him about how you feel.”

“Don’t you think I’ve thought about it? But the way my life works, anytime I think I might have a shot at something good, it gets dragged away from me. I’m still waiting for all this to come crashing down,” Dean said, gesturing around him. “I mean, Sammy, let’s say I actually do it. What if I put myself out there and he walks away? What if everything goes wrong and I end up losing everything? Again.”

“Of course that’s possible,” Sam replied, nodding his head. “There’s always a risk. But. On the other side of that coin is you getting everything you’ve ever wanted? And if I were a betting man, I’d take those odds.”

✵✵✵✵

Long after the sun went down, Dean found himself alone in his room, digging through his bag for his phone charger and coming up empty handed. Looking at his phone screen again, he cursed himself for forgetting it. With only eleven percent battery life left, it wouldn’t last much longer. 

He opened his messages to Cas and sent a desperate plea.

> **Message sent: 2245** >> _Hey, you got an extra charger I can borrow? Phone’s about to die_

Three dots appeared almost immediately.

> **Message received: 2246** << _Of course. On my way_

> **Message sent: 2247** >> _:)_

Not five minutes later, there was a knock on his door. Cas stood outside his door holding out a coiled charger with a smile. He must’ve just showered, his hair still damp and smelling like hotel shampoo. He wore faded jeans and a soft looking Rolling Stones shirt. 

“Thanks, man.”

“You’re welcome, Dean. I always try to travel with a spare.”

“Well, I’m glad one of us does,” Dean said. “You wanna come in for a little bit and hang out?”

Cas’ eyes went wide, surprised by the invitation. 

“Really? We spent almost all day together. You sure you aren’t tired of me yet?”

“Not possible,” he answered, shaking his head. “Come on, I was about to order up some pie from room service. And I just found a Dr. Sexy marathon on TNT. Stay for a little bit.”

Dean tried to hide the flush he felt in his cheeks. He knew he basically just asked Cas if he wanted to Netflix and chill. With pie. But honestly, the implications of that offer hadn’t crossed his mind until it was too late to backtrack without sounding like a dumbass or like a downright asshole. So he just did himself a favor for once and kept his big ol’ mouth shut.. He really just wanted to spend more time with Cas. 

For his part, Cas only shrugged his shoulders. 

“What else do they have on the dessert menu?”

✵✵✵✵

Half an hour later, Dean and Castiel sat side by side on the king size bed. Dr. Sexy was in the middle of a life saving emergency brain surgery, and Cas was rolling his eyes and yelling about how completely ridiculous the whole scene was because Dr. Sexy wasn’t even a brain surgeon. Dean couldn’t help but laugh at him in between bites of his warm apple pie. 

“Dude, calm down. No one actually watches this show for the medical accuracy. People watch for the drama and the good looking cast. I mean, Dr. Sexy is named that for a reason.”

Cas popped a bite of his brownie sundae in his mouth. “Do you think Dr. Sexy is sexy?”

“I mean, sure. I wouldn’t kick him out of bed.” Still chewing, he added, “not really my type though.”

“Yeah, me neither.”

Silence settled between them. Feeling the need to steer the subject into safer territory, Dean looked over at Cas’ half eaten dessert.

“How’s your brownie?”

Cas looked up at him and back down to his plate. “It’s pretty good. How’s your pie?”

“It’s actually not bad considering it’s room service pie. You want some? I’ll trade you a bite of pie for some of your ice cream,” he offered.

Smiling, Cas held his plate out for Dean to scoop a spoonful of vanilla ice cream. In return, he offered his pie to Cas, knowing there were only so many people in this world he’d share a slice of apple pie with. Cas was probably at the top of that short list. 

They went back to their own desserts and soon they were scraping the last crumbs off their plates. After setting them down on the side table Dean caught sight of a tiny bit of melted ice cream clinging to the corner of Cas’ mouth. 

“Um, you got a little,” Dean said, gesturing to Cas’ mouth.

Cas reached up to wipe his hand over his mouth, but missed his target, and managed to smear it over his bottom lip. “Did I get it?”

Dean huffed. “No, here. Let me,” he said without hesitation, bringing his thumb up to Cas’ lip to brush away the offending ice cream. 

The way Cas looked at him made Dean’s heart jump into his throat. It might have been minutes or hours that they sat there frozen, eyes on each other, with Dean’s thumb still gently smoothing over the soft plushness of Cas’ mouth.

He wasn’t sure who moved first. He frankly couldn’t care when a minute later Cas’ tongue was teasing his own. Cas cupped his jaw and gently urged him until he was on his back and Cas was pressing him into the mattress. Dean spread his legs to let Cas settle against his body, fitting together so naturally like they’d done this a thousand times already. Dean ran his hands over Cas’ strong back down to grip his ass and pull in him closer, resulting in a delicious grind. Dean happily swallowed the noises coming from Cas, only breaking their kiss to come up for air. 

“Dean,” Cas growled. “Dean, stop. It’s getting late. We shouldn’t do this tonight,” Cas whispered in between kisses.

A cold wave coursed through Dean’s veins like whiplash. He pulled back just enough to look Cas in the eye. “I don’t want you to go. Stay with me. Please,” Dean whispered back.

Castiel's eyes bounced from Dean’s eyes to his mouth and back again.

“You are too tempting, Siren,” he said with a grin. “I don’t think we should let this happen again though. Not like this,” he added after a pause. Cas peeled himself off Dean’s body, but stayed kneeling next to him. “It’s been a really good day, but I just don’t want a repeat of what happened last time. Tomorrow is too important, Dean. It’s everything we’ve been working toward. I mean, we’re so close to the finish line. I don’t want to lose focus now.”

Dean opened his mouth but couldn’t find any words. Castiel didn’t want him. Even though what he was saying was reasonable, logical even, the sting of rejection hurt nonetheless. And now he felt like a fool. 

“I think it’s best if I go back to my room. We both need to get some sleep and be ready for tomorrow.” Castiel looked down, a heaviness in his shoulders. “I think we really have a shot at this. I just don’t want tonight to be the thing that messes it all up,” Cas said quietly, his eyes sad. Dean couldn’t help but feel like he wasn’t talking about the competition at all. “Let’s see where we are this time tomorrow okay? Get some rest and I’ll see you in the morning.” Cas leaned forward on his knees to place a soft kiss on Dean’s forehead.

Not another word was said between them. Dean propped himself up on his hands to watch Cas walk out of the hotel room, pulling the door shut behind him. Dean let himself collapse back onto the disheveled mattress as his mind processed what just happened. All of a sudden, it felt like a dam was about to break inside of him. Which felt silly and irrational. Castiel wasn’t even his, as much as he wanted him to be. And despite how much pain he had already survived in his life, he had the fleeting thought that Cas walking away from him forever might be the thing that overpowered him. He mustered up what energy he had left to roll over and bury himself in blankets, realizing too late that they still smelled like Cas. Resigning himself to his fate, he took in a deep breath, filling his lungs with the fresh earthy scent. He finally let his tears fall and waited for the darkness to take him.

✵✵✵✵

The next morning, Dean was already wide awake, having choked down the bitter coffee supplied in his room. He was showered and dressed as he stepped into the elevator and hit the button for the floor above his. He buried the anxiety of today’s events in the back of his mind. He had higher priorities right now. He had to talk to Cas. He had to know they were still okay. He stepped off the elevator and was rounding the corner when he caught sight of Balthazar standing in Cas’ doorway. He froze on the spot, watching Balthazar give Cas a quick hug, before backing away with a nod of his head as Cas quietly shut his door. He turned and walked up the hall toward Dean, who had no means of escape before being seen.

“Dean. Good morning! Big day ahead, hmm? Were you coming to see Castiel?”

“I was,” Dean uttered, his brows pinching together.

“I must warn you, he doesn’t seem to be much of a morning person.” Balthazar pushed the call button for the elevator, which opened for him almost immediately. “Although he was quite good company last night. Quite an interesting one, that Mr. Novak,” he said with a smirk. “Good luck today, Dean,” he added, stepping onto the elevator.

Dean stood watching the doors close in front of him. His stomach twisted painfully, until he could taste bile in the back of his throat. Castiel had pushed him away last night only to end up spending the night with a near stranger. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to have sex last night. He just didn’t want _him_. 

Struggling to keep air in his lungs, he frantically pushed the call button to take him back down to his room. By the time he stepped out onto his floor, there was only one priority left in his mind. He listened to his heart and did the only thing he could think of. He ran.

> _♪Strike the match, strike the match now_
> 
> _We’re a perfect match, perfect somehow_
> 
> _We were meant for one another_
> 
> _Come a little closer_
> 
> _♪There’s two of us_
> 
> _Bristling with desire_
> 
> _The pleasure’s pain and fire_
> 
> _Burn me_


	9. Fire on Fire

> ♪ _ When we fight we fight like lions _
> 
> _ And then we love and feel the truth _

Castiel was up the next morning feeling better than he expected. Balthazar was kind enough to drop by and offer some pain killers for his hangover. The encouraging advice that followed was why he was dressed and headed to Dean’s room half an hour later. He never should have left Dean the way he did and he needed to explain himself and fix things between them if they had any hope of doing well today. Or any hope of something more in the future. 

His steps slowed as he approached the room, finding the door open and the housekeeping cart in front of it. He peeked inside, as to not spook the elderly woman stripping the bed sheets. Dean was nowhere to be found and as Castiel swept his eyes around the room, he also found no trace of Dean’s belongings. No suitcase in the corner, no toiletries on the bathroom counter. 

Feeling a panic beginning to rush through him, he cleared his throat.

“Excuse me?”

The housekeeper looked up, startled, but smiling.

“Yes, dear? Can I help you?”

“Um, the person that is staying in this room. Do you know where he is?”

“I’m sorry, dear. I don’t. I was told the guest had checked out this morning.”

Castiel shook his head defiantly. “No, no, no, that can’t be right! Are you sure you have the right room?”

“Yes, honey. I’m sure. My supervisor put this room on my list because the guest checked out early.”

Castiel backed out of the room and looked up and down the hall with wide scared eyes. He ran back to the elevator to return to his room. His phone was dead when he woke and it was still charging when he left. He nearly tripped over himself to get to it, finding two missed calls and a text, all from Charlie. His hands shook when he hit call and held the phone to his ear.

“Charlie! What the hell is going on? I just went to Dean’s room and he’s gone! He checked out early!”

“I know,” Charlie huffed. “But I don’t know why. He only sent me a text that said he was going home and to tell you and everyone that he’s sorry. By the time I tried to call him, he’d turned his phone off. I assume if he’s serious he’s almost to the airport by now. I checked the airline website and there’s a nonstop flight back to Austin leaving in an hour and a half.”

Dean was gone. And it was all Castiel’s fault. He dropped the phone to his lap where he sat perched on the edge of the bed. 

“Cas? Are you still there? Cas!”

Castiel put the phone back up to his ear. “Yeah, Charlie, I’m here,” he answered dejectedly. 

“Listen, I don’t know what happened. I assume you’re involved. But if he quits at the last minute, he’s never going to forgive himself. As your and Dean’s BFF, I’m ordering you to fix this.”

Castiel groaned in frustration. “He tried to come on to me last night and I didn’t want a repeat of what happened in Dallas, so I left. I had planned on actually asking him out once the competition is over. I never thought he’d take it so wrong that he would leave. What am I supposed to do Charlie? What if I find him and he still leaves?”

“What if he doesn’t? Castiel. What do you have to lose at this point?”

“What do I even say?”

“Maybe the truth? You could finally tell him how you feel for starters. You might be surprised,” Charlie said urgently. 

“Damn it,” Castiel huffed. He pulled his phone off the charger and grabbed his wallet off the dresser. “I’m going to the airport. Wish me luck.”

“Good luck, Cas. Bring him back here. You guys are due on stage in less than four hours!”

Castiel was already pulling the door shut behind him when he hung up, hoping a cab could get him to San Diego International before Dean left this all behind.

✵✵✵✵

“Hiya! How can I help you?”

“Um, I actually don’t have a ticket. There’s someone in the terminal I really need to find before he makes a huge mistake and gets on a plane. I’m sure people try to do this all the time, but I’m desperate.” Castiel made sure to give her the full puppy dog sad face. “So, if there’s any way I can get past security without a boarding pass, that would be amazing. If not, I need you to find me the cheapest ticket, I don’t care where it’s going, as long as I can get to gate C40.”

“Aww, this is just like right outta the movies! Is this a special someone? How romantic,” she gushed, already clicking away on her computer.

“Yes. Yes he is a special someone. And he’s worked his ass off for something that is supposed to happen in...three hours,” he said checking his phone. “And I think there’s been some massive miscommunication between us, and he needs to know how important he is. And if he gets on that plane, I’ll never forgive myself. 

”Yeah, you betcha. Let’s see what we can do here,” she said, typing away at the computer in front of her. “Unfortunately, I can’t get ya past the security checkpoint without a boarding pass. No matter how sweet the reason is. The best I can do with such short notice is a one way ticket to Boise that leaves in six hours. Coach fare is four hundred and sixty dollars,” she glanced back up at him, wrinkling her nose.

“Seriously?” Castiel exhaled through his nose and rubbed at his temple before reaching for his wallet. “Fine. Okay, book it.”

Taking his credit card, she offered him a warm smile. “He must be special. Not everybody’s worth this kind of trouble.”

Castiel could feel his cheeks flush. She was right. Dean was worth it. And Castiel was determined to keep fighting until Dean knew that.

“Now let me give you some advice. Don’t try to rush past security. Rules are still rules. That may have worked for the kid in Love Actually, but it won’t work for you. So don’t be running through the terminal like a mad man. But C40 is all the way at the end of the terminal and they’re gonna start boarding in about ten minutes, so you’re gonna have to hurry,” she instructed, typing rapidly. “Now. You’re all set. Go get him, sweetie!” 

“Thanks,” he said, pausing to look down at her nametag. “Donna.”

He grabbed his boarding pass and took off at a jog toward the security line. As he approached it, his stomach dropped. The general boarding line had to be a mile long. With this many people in front of him, there was no way he would make it to Dean on time. He spotted a TSA agent directing people toward the line, and approached her, ready to beg for help.

“Um, excuse me. I was wondering if you could help me.”

“Hi there, what seems to be the problem?” 

“I’m in a real hurry. And if I don’t get through this soon, I’m gonna be too late. I don’t normally ask for special treatment, but I’m desperate.” Castiel once again prepared to beg with big sad eyes, and hoped this woman, Officer Mills, would take pity on him.

She studied him for a moment, her hands on her belt. “Well, let’s see what we can do. Can I see your boarding pass?”

“Uh, yes, of course,” he said, handing over the documents in his hands.

“Well, Mr. Novak. Your flight doesn’t leave for another six hours, so you’re actually not gonna be late for it.”

Castiel’s heart sank. 

“But you have a first class seat. Which means you don’t have to stand in this line,” she said, pointing to the throngs of people. “You get to go in this line,” she continued, turning toward the first class security line, which, by the grace of god, only had four people currently waiting to go through the xray scanner. 

“But I didn’t buy a first class ticket,” he mumbled, tilting his head in confusion.

Officer Mills looked down at the boarding pass again and smiled. 

“Let me guess. Donna checked you in? Pretty blonde. Super friendly?”

“Yeah, she did,” Cas said, nodding.

“She must’ve given you an upgrade without telling you,” she said with a laugh. “She loves surprising people with things like that. Random acts of kindness, you know.”

“Thank you,” Castiel said, heading to the first class priority line, which by now had completely cleared. His heart pounded in anticipation and hope that he just might make it to Dean in time.

Only a minute later he was pulling his shoes back on and gathering his phone and wallet on the other side of the security checkpoint. After getting his bearings to see which way he needed to go, he realized Donna was right. C40 was still a long ways off, and the terminal was a crowded mess of people coming and going in all directions. 

He tried to keep at a jog, darting around people in his way. From somewhere behind him, he could hear the honking and shouting from the driver of the airport cart that typically carried disabled or elderly passengers to their gates. He veered to the side to keep out of its way, but did a double take when he noticed it had pulled up beside him and kept at his pace. 

“Excuse me, you wouldn’t happen to be a Mr. Novak, would you?” The driver was a young man, tall and lanky, with a wide friendly smile directed toward Castiel.

“What? Uh, I mean, yes. That’s me. Why? How do you know me?” Castiel came to a stop and looked around the terminal, confused as to why he was being singled out.

“Name’s Garth. I got a message over the headset from Donna back at the ticket counter. She said to keep a look out for a tall handsome fellow that looked like he was about to panic right out of his skin. Said you only had a few minutes to get all the way down to C40.”

“Uh, yeah, that’s me,” he answered, out of breath.

“Yeah, she kind of filled me in on the rest. I’m a sucker for a good romance story. So hop on in here, and we’ll go get him. It’s a good haul from here, so we’re gonna have to fly.”

And so they flew. Faces blurred past him while his heart began to pound in his chest. Not from anticipation. But from fear. He had been so worried about finding Dean in time, but what happened after that? What if this was a mistake? What if Dean just gave him a cold glare and got on that plane anyway? What if he yelled at Cas for following him here? What if he still had to watch as the one person who had finally made him feel something, the one person who made him feel alive, left him standing alone? 

What if?

He swallowed his pride, and forced himself to refocus. What if? What if Dean needed to hear that he was wanted. Needed. That all those months ago, Dean struck a match and caused a fire to burn inside Cas. A fire he hadn’t felt in years, and was afraid had gone out forever. What if Dean needed to know that, win or lose, Cas would move the mountains just to make him smile? That he would gladly spend the rest of his life by Dean’s side, while they worked together to make all of their dreams come true. What if Dean stayed?

“Alright my man, C40. Looks like they’re starting to board already. Good luck to ya!”

Cas looked up in surprise. He had stopped paying attention to the gate numbers flying by, and now he was there. He took a steadying breath, thanked Garth for his help and hopped off the cart. As Garth sped away, Cas surveyed the crowd, people everywhere milling around, waiting to line up when called. He studied their faces, looking for that one familiar silhouette. Finally the mass of people all moved just right, parting the way. Dean was standing with his back to Cas, bag slung over his shoulder, staring out the massive window. 

Castiel proceeded slowly, like Dean was some frightened animal that might run for it if spooked. Finally only a few feet aways, he spoke.

“Hello, Dean.”

Dean spun around, his eyes scrunched together. His mouth parted in surprise, twitching around silent words, like he couldn’t decide what to say first.

“Cas? Cas, why are you here? How did you find me?” His eyes darted around them, like he was waiting for Sam or Charlie, or maybe even a camera crew to bust out and yell “Gotcha!”. 

“Charlie told me where you were. She said you took off, that you were going back home. I told her that was impossible, that you wouldn’t just give this all up without a reason. That there was no way, that after all our hard work, after everything, you wouldn’t just run away from it. That even if you’re scared and about to face something really big, you’d stay and face it. You’d stand up and you’d fight through the tough shit, even if you were going through Hell itself. Because that’s who you are. So, I’m here to fight and pull you through to the other side. Because you taught me how and I won’t let you just give up.”

Castiel realized he wasn’t even sure if he was still talking about the competition anymore or something else. Something bigger.

Dean looked down at the worn carpet, shook his head, and huffed a bitter laugh before looking back up at Cas. Castiel couldn’t help but notice the glassy sadness in his eyes.

“Man, you are one stubborn son of a bitch.”

“You taught me that too,” Cas volleyed, softening his tone a bit. “So, Dean? What are you really running away from?”

“Cas, I’m sorry. I really am. I know this isn’t what you signed up for. You were just trying to help me and I never meant to go and fall for you. You were just supposed to be my dance partner and nothing else. I never meant for it to get so complicated. Even though that’s what I do. I take a good thing and I fuck it all up and it blows up in my face and everyone around me gets hurt in the process. So, yes, this time I left before it got even worse. I’m sorry for letting you down. I’m sorry for taking advantage of you, because you’re just about the best person I know and you don’t deserve that. And I’m sorry for everything I’ve done or said to hurt you. I didn’t mean it when I said that night in Dallas was a mistake. It wasn’t. Far from it. Or if it was, it was the best mistake I ever made, and I’m sorry for making you think otherwise. I’m just real sorry Cas. And then with everything last night, and this morning, and I just couldn’t handle it anymore. I couldn’t bear to get up there today in front of all those people like nothing’s changed. You think I’m strong Cas, but I’m not strong enough to keep pretending I’m not freaking out inside everytime you look at me like I’m something special even though I know you don’t feel like that.”

That was a lot for Castiel to process all at once. Mostly because his brain got stuck on one important bit of information lodged in the middle of Dean’s rambling.

“Um, Dean. I’m going to need you to rewind that. You said you never meant for  _ what _ to happen?” He had to be hallucinating.

The way Dean’s eyes widened and his mouth floundered in response made Cas’ mouth tick up in a lopsided smile. This must be what the first fish to crawl onto land looked like. Panicked and gasping at the dry air filling his body. 

“I, uh. I didn’t mean for that to come out. Um. Can we pretend I didn’t say that?”

“No. Let’s pretend you did mean to say it. In fact, let’s pretend you want to say it again,” Cas said, closing the distance between them.

Dean only stared at him with a sadness in his eyes.

“I’m in love with you. That's why I freaked out and left. I love you, Cas. And I’ve been trying to make it go away, or find some reason not to love you, but so far I can’t. I can’t find a reason not to love you. And I’m sorry. I know you don't feel like that. I know I’ve fucked this up again because that's what I do. And I’m really sorry to bring all this up now, especially if you’ve got something going on with Balthazar. I know the timing sucks, but I-,” Dean blurted out in one long thought process until Cas put a hand over his mouth to silence him.

“Dean. Shut up. Take a deep breath,” Cas said calmly. After he watched Dean slowly inhale and visibly relax a tiny bit, Cas continued. “What the hell do you mean “something with Balthazar?”

“I saw him leaving your hotel room this morning Cas. He said he came by to “wish you luck” or whatever, but then he winked at me and mentioned something about how you were such good company last night. I don’t need the details, Cas. It’s fine. I mean, I personally think he’s a creepy British slimeball, but I’m not the one sleeping with him. Just don’t let him take advantage of you, Cas. Please,” Dean pleaded.

“Dean, I didn’t sleep with Balthazar last night.”

“You didn’t? Then why did he say you were good company?” Dean wrinkled his brow in confusion.

“I don’t know why he said that considering what a mess I was. I was miserable after I left your room so I went downstairs to the bar for a drink. Balthazar was there and he sat and listened to me go on and on about you and about what an asshole I was for leaving you alone like that. After about an hour, I was kinda drunk, so he helped me get back to my room. And that’s it. He came by this morning to give me some pain killers for my hangover and made me promise that I would be honest with you and tell you that I am in love with you.”

“You what,” Dean asked, his eyes wide.

“I love you too, you idiot. I started falling for you the first night I met you. How could I not?” Cas smiled, shaking his head. “I left your room last night because I promised myself I would wait until after the competition was over before I made a move. But now seems like a good time. This is probably going to sound lame, considering we’ve already had sex and apparently fallen in love with each other, but, Dean Winchester. When we get home, will you please go on a date with me?”

Dean burst out in laughter, throwing his head back, his face lit up. Cas was sure he’d never get tired of making that happen. Dean quickly controlled his giggles but seemed to be having trouble wiping the smile off his face.

“Yes, Cas. I’d love to go on a date with you.” Dean stepped closer, bringing his mouth up to Cas’ ear. “And just in case you were unsure how the end of the date is gonna go, I’m probably gonna put out.”

“Thank you for letting me know so far in advance Dean,” Cas answered, his voice dripping in sarcasm. “I’m sure I would have been a bundle of nerves.” Switching gears, he looked at his watch. “Now. We have exactly two hours to get back to the competition. Don’t make me carry you out of here, because you know I will do it.”

“I love it you get all bossy, Angel,” Dean said.

“I know you do,” Cas answered, fighting hard not to smile. “Now let’s go,” he said, already turning around and pulling Dean’s hand toward the signs for the airport exit.

Dean planted his feet.

“Wait, Cas, you really mean to tell me you’re gonna make this big dramatic and romantic declaration of love in an airport, like a god damned rom-com, and not even kiss me?”

“Hmm? Oh right. I don’t know what I was thinking,” Cas said, rolling his eyes with a big smile. He pulled Dean into his arms and cupped his face with one hand, brushing his cheek gently with his thumb. “How’s this for a happy ending?”

“Oh, I’ll show you a happy ending later Cas,” Dean said with a wink. “But this is pretty good too.”

When their lips met, it was with more giggles than actual kissing. Dean ran his fingers through Cas’ unruly hair and gripped the back of his neck to keep him in place. When their mouths parted, they kept their foreheads together for a moment, drinking each other in. 

“Dean, don't make it weird. Just dance with me,” Castiel asked softly.

“I thought you’d never ask,” Dean replied with a smile.

As they walked through the terminal toward the exit, Cas caught sight of three familiar faces sitting at a small table at the Starbucks kiosk. Donna, Officer Mills and Garth all beamed back at him. 

Smiling at them, he reached for Dean’s hand and gave it a squeeze. 

“Hey, Dean?”

“Yes, Angel,” Dean answered with a smile.

“I just had to pay four hundred dollars on a plane ticket to Boise in order to get past security so that I could come find you. So when we win later today, I’m keeping an extra four hundred dollars of the winnings.”

“Okay, Angel,” Dean said with a laugh, wrapping his arm around Cas. “Okay.”

> ♪ _ Fire on fire, would normally kill us _
> 
> _ With this much desire, together we’re winners _
> 
> _ They say that we’re out of control and some say we’re sinners _
> 
> _ But don’t let them ruin our beautiful rhythms _
> 
> _ Cause when you unfold me and tell me you love me _
> 
> _ And look in my eye _
> 
> _ You are perfection, my only direction _
> 
> _ It’s fire on fire _


	10. I've had the Time of My Life

> ♪ _Now I’ve had the time of my life_
> 
> _No, I never felt like this before_
> 
> _Yes, I swear its the truth_
> 
> _And I owe it all to you_

**3 hours later**

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this song,” Dean whispered, out of breath, as the music came to an end and the audience erupted into thundering applause and cheers. 

“You love this song. You said Swayze always gets a pass. And it was your idea to play Rock, Paper Scissors to help us decide,” Cas whispered back. “Although, I do have a confession. Sam let it slip that you always throw scissors during that game, so I knew I had an advantage,” he said in a rush.

Dean only had a second to glare at him. They were still wrapped around each other on the static pole. He couldn’t help but burst into laughter. He felt euphoric. Their routine had been flawless. They had even nailed the lift.

“Well Dean, do you think we won?”

Dean looked into those blue eyes, knowing that whatever the judges thought of their performance, he was still leaving here with the best prize of all. 

“Cas. You are my win.”

> _♪You’re the one thing_
> 
> _I can’t get enough of_
> 
> _So I’ll tell you something_
> 
> _This could be love_

**One year later**

“I can’t believe you’re making me listen to this song again. In my car. After we got each other off in the back seat like teenagers,” Dean complained. Although, the fire behind that complaint was masked by the happy, satisfied sigh that followed it. Cas often compared him to a grumpy sleepy kitten and Dean couldn’t find himself to be mad about it.

“You love that song,” Castiel teased, echoing words from their past, and snuggling into Dean’s side as best he could in the back seat of the Impala.

“You realize you’re Jennifer Grey in this situation. Which of course makes me Patrick Swayze,” he replied proudly.

Cas smiled against Dean’s bare chest at the reminder of their first rehearsal together. “Yes, I do. As it happens, I can relate. I do believe I’ve had the time of my life since meeting you,” Castiel said, looking up. “I can’t believe it’s already been a year and a half since this crazy idea got started.”

“You’re a sap.”

“You love it.”

“I love you.”

A few minutes later, Dean stood by the Impala, watching Castiel walk up to the doors of the studio. He shook his head, smiling to himself, as he thought about Cas talking him into sneaking out to the car for a quickie. It was showcase night again and they were the last routine of the night, this time as national champions. He had to admit, Cas had been right. This past year had been the time of his life. And he owed a lot of it to Cas. After winning Nationals, they were invited to participate in several workshops at some of the best pole studios in the country. It had been a busy year. But a good year. Bobby finally agreed to hand over the reigns of the shop, although he stayed on as a consultant. Bobby took Ellen on a two week vacation to Hawaii, bringing back cheap souvenirs for everyone, including the plastic lei that hung around Baby’s rear view mirror. Somewhere along the way, Dean learned it was okay to let himself be happy. He learned that life will always throw curve balls that have the potential to knock you on your ass. But, if you wait long enough and keep fighting, good things do happen. 

Dean smiled as he gently patted the outside of his jacket pocket.

_Good. Still there._

Luckily, Cas had been too eager to get Dean’s clothes off in the back seat, so he didn’t notice anything odd. Dean reached inside his pocket and wrapped a hand around the black velvet ring box. He couldn’t wait to give it to Cas later tonight. He hoped with everything he had, that Castiel said yes. Because he couldn’t wait to have the time of his life, for the rest of his life.

**Christmas**

Castiel sat on the couch as instructed, warm and cozy in his flannel pajama pants and his favorite koala T-shirt, now soft and worn in from so much use. Their first Christmas as newlyweds was almost over. The three months since their wedding had been the happiest of his life. He smiled to himself remembering their morning and the way Dean’s face lit up in excitement when Castiel presented him their very own pole. Dean wasted no time, tearing the box open and pulling out all the pieces, before running off to the garage for the tools he needed to install it in the corner of their living room. It had been as much a gift for Castiel as it was for Dean, made even better when he got to watch Dean put it together all afternoon in nothing but faded jeans and a god damned tool belt. It was getting late and he thought they’d be heading to bed soon, but Dean was excitedly adamant that Castiel sit and wait for his last gift of the day. So he leaned back against their plush couch, enjoying the soft glow coming off the lights of the Christmas tree. 

He didn’t wait long before he heard the first notes of a familiar tune. It was the classic sultry rhythm of Santa Baby. Dean entered the room slowly, popping his hips to the music. Castiel’s eyes nearly fell out of his head and he couldn’t contain the giggle that escaped his mouth at the sight of his husband. Dean was barefoot and dressed in low slung red pants, a red velvet Santa jacket trimmed in white fur, tied with a red sash, and a classic Santa hat laying lop-sided on his head. 

“Oh my god,” Castiel gasped. “When did you get all that?”

“I was planning to surprise you tonight, but the pole makes it even better. Merry Christmas baby,” Dean said with a wink. 

Dean turned his back to him, swaying his ass from side to side. He turned around, sliding the red sash around his slim waist until it came off in his hand. Slowly, he walked toward Castiel and wrapped the soft fabric around his neck. Grinning like the lovestruck fool he was, Castiel was already hard in his pajama pants when Dean blew him a kiss and popped the Santa hat on top of his head. It was silly and sexy and perfect. Dean backed away, letting the velvet jacket slip off his bare shoulders and tossing it to the side. He stepped up to the shiny new pole in the corner and reached high to grip and pull himself into an inversion, his bowlegs forming a “v” above his head. From there Dean did a few simple spins, before sliding down to the hardwood floor. He crawled forward, looking up at Castiel through thick lashes. Once he reached his target, he gripped Castiel by his thighs to help pull him back to his feet. Standing over him, he tucked his thumbs into the hem of his pants. Dean pulled them down slowly, revealing a pair of deliciously red satin panties with lace trim and a tiny white bow. Silver cursive lettering covered the front that said “Open Me”.

Castiel only had a second to palm himself over his pants before his husband was climbing into his lap at the same time that Eartha Kitt was singing about rings. Running his tongue along his bottom lip, Dean ground his hips over Castiel’s crotch, giving his cock the friction he craved. Hoping the usual “no hands” rule didn’t apply to this lap dance, Castiel finally brought his hands around to Dean’s ass and pulled him even closer. Dean pulled the Santa hat off Castiel, plopped it back on top of his own head, and wrapped his arms around Castiel’s neck.

“Well, baby. I think we should continue this in the bedroom. What do you say?”

With an offer like that, Castiel kissed him hard, gripped him under his thighs, stood them up together, and carried his husband to their bed to continue unwrapping his gift.

**_The End._**

> ♪ _Cause I’ve had the time of my life_
> 
> _And I owe it all to you_

  
[Spin Playlist on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1LEh7dZlwrqGVv4U0SivMH?si=8nNhpwBhST-OY-9417JpAg)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I want to thank everyone who have been supporting me and encouraging me to get this done. 
> 
> A few notes about the story. If you are at all familiar with pole, and the competitive aspect of it, you know how much of a stretch this all is. I took quite a few liberties with it. Especially with the prize money given to the national winner. In reality it is no where near enough to help Dean buy out Bobby's business. That's why fiction is so fun. 
> 
> My original outline changed quite a bit. I had planned to write Dean as much more of a moody asshole at the beginning. But then Cas made him laugh, and they kind of got away from me and did their own thing. They deserve to be happy (looking at you Dabb) so I just let them figure it out.
> 
> You'll find the link to the Spin playlist on Spotify at the end of the fic. I hope you like it.
> 
> Thank you SPNFamily and DCBB


End file.
